Hard To Say Good Bye

I will have to say Good-Bye to Ingo tonight.
Drive to work at 5:30 tomorrow.
At 08:00 his parents pick him up, bring him to his doc and then to Hamburg to a special clinic, some 200 km away in real bad traffic.

Whilst I´m typing I hear him suffer.
If he heard me cry, he´d get upset, so I keep quiet.

After work I´ll drive to Hannover to visit my Mum in hospital, then drive to an empty home.
Friends offered help.
But... it´s all too much.

Suddenly it´s really, really emergency-like. People tell me, nah, don´t worry, his weight is much better than back then and all.
I asked Ingo a hundred times to write down his last will.
Like I did, years ago, being totally healthy.

Each day we´re both on the highway...
He never did. He/his family own 70% of this apartment - we´re not married, but spouses for over 16 years... that might become a problem.
Tonight he asked to make a copy so he can write his last will down. He was too much in pain, though. Thanks for adding that kind of fear to my fear about your life, our life.

I will say Good-Bye.
I cannot hug Ingo, he´s too much in pain.
I´m in a different kind of pain.

I so-so-so hope people are right.
I so-so-so hope I can find ourselves together joking on a playground like in that pic above again soon.
And hug.
Be happy.
I feel so darn helpless.

Oh, dang. His Mum yahooed his Bro (doc) needs our number. How am I not to cry on the phone?!

---

Dang!
His Bro was so helpful! Explained as much as he could (data hasn´t arrived yet) - maybe it´s not that bad after all.
Dunno. He always talks to me as if we knew each other well.
He´s some months younger than me, we went to different groups in (the same) kindergarten, to diffenrent classes in school, yet... maybe he sees me as family?

I said Ingo can´t talk much, but he can tell him what he thinks is worth it and handed over.
After that he was... kinda deeply moved.
I said it´s said we only meet on health-issues, to which he only kinda grunted.
Maybe some kind of change is in the air?

Oh. He´s also very, very clear about some behaviour concerning waiting too long with some things (like visits to the doc) - I´m so with him!
Was good to talk to him.
Is - as weird as that sounds - never like talking to a stranger.
Last time we talked was in 2008!

I feel better now.
Still afraid, though.