Mum Play Acts Darth Vader

Pic (like totally) out of context... love these, one of the few good things of winter...

Well. Today was a bad day.
Woke with Ingo at 4:thirty-something and fell asleep again till the clock woke me again at 5:40 - he couldn´t even say good-bye :-(
Cleaned the kitchen, surfed the net a bit and was at Bro´s place shortly before 9.
He and Niece had both overslept, so I met the Wee one shortly, joined them on the way to day nursery.

We talked and talked, Bro and me, was kinda "therapy" and went with two cars to the hospital Bad Gandersheim. Me (oldest first), Bro and Niece were born there and now Mum... fate or doom, they have humor, huh?

Yesterday Mum needed a little extra oxygen with the mobile tube I already knew from when my Dad was at this stage.
Today... she needed a mask that covered the whole face. Beeped all the time when air got in. She can not get used to it, otherwise she´ll "forget" how to breathe at all on her own.
Every breath took her still a lot of efford, it was a real pain to see and hear, I got breathless, too. (Like... all is well with my breathing, no worries).

At one point she looked at me full of fear.
Yeah, try to give a faithful, reassuring smile to that.
She was in and out of consciousness/sleep all the time.

The male-nurse called Guido I really do like best. He talked to us forever, he pat her cheeck when adjusting the mask, smiled at her, talked to her. They all take their time, they´re all fantastic - quite a huge contrast to Braunschweig, to where Ingo was.

Usually you´re allowed 30 minutes max in intensive care over here in Germany.
They let us stay as long as we like. Ok. We just sit there and keep quiet.

Guido said, most people don´t visit. They "can not" see their... you cannot say loved-ones, right?! ... their ... sick ones with all the machines attached.

Hello?!!! They have to live through that! Certainly I´m there, we´re there.

At one point I thought my Mum was calling me and Guido asked what my name was and agreed it sounded much alike but was just an exhausted sigh.

The title? At first I tried to bring in some humor. But Mum doesn´t know Darth Vader. I could´ve guessed that, stupid me.
She gets morphine, but only such a small dose that she´s still fully here.
Now... is that good?

I have to work tomorrow.
I drove to work back then every morning, too, wondering if Ingo will still be breathing when I come back. At least Mum is in good hands. What did I do back then?!
I had no (mental) help, didn´t know better.
Bro is deaf on that ear, totally.

Need to get a patient's provision for both of us, I don´t wanna end up weird and helpless.
Will tomorrow be a better day, was today the low mark?