Double-Half or One Ten without ham

New Guard On Board

2012-01-28T14:41:00.000+01:00

Saturday morning means running errands.
Ingo got me this cute Lion, er, no, he got it for us :-) Yep, I know it´s for Valentine´s Day, but if you followed my blog you know we make pressies not to those fixed dates but when it fits in. And aren´t his feet too cute? The smile? Aww...

This new "Henry even has a job - he takes care of our heart:

This is how our sideboard looks now, (one) housewarming-pressie from Perth included :-)

We went to the post-office as well. Actaully to the Packstation where you can fetch your stuff whenever you like, so practical!

Box is open:

And what was in it? Another pressie for me! :-)

Fahrenheit! Ingo used to wear it forever and doesn´t like it no more. So I wear it now - it´s soooo yummy :-) And makes me smell more manly, too, ha-ha!

And Morris there does a very good job, btw, thanks again, Flea :-)

You can also send parcels away here:

We then went to Pocco, a mini/cheapy-IKEA, kinda. If we had the space, I´d so love to have that 70´s -style table!

Instead we grabbed a frame for our Mielebaer and now he found a place near "Hamelin Pool":

Please note the supercool shirt Ingo is wearing! It shows the Braunschweig-Lion and just fits in the picture with that light-blue, huh?

We also got a green pic:

Need to take care we don´t overdo it in this condo ;-)

Soon we´ll start preparing another beer-can-chicken, hmmmm. Meanwhile my hands dare to fall off due to the cold.
We really need to take care of this next summer! Brrr.
Reminds me of what happend in grade 5. We were all given a thermometer and the physics-teacher asked, "what do you see?". The other kids said, "it goes up!" I said, "it goes down." - well, it was cold in that room! The teacher checked the thermometer, it went up in his hands and I had to go see the nurse. Brrr, it´s cold.
Do I look forward to that chicken, it´ll sure warm me up!

Happy weekend, everyone :-)

Good To Be Small

2012-01-26T20:51:00.001+01:00

(or do you say "little"?) ... well, at very rare times, that is!
On my way home from work I drive past an Aldi. Monday I stopped to get Ingo his coffee.
Yesterday he realized he´d run out of "work-sweets". Oh, great!, I thought, couldn´t he´ve seen that earlier?!
So, today I stopped there again - and guess what I found?!

"Kid´s" PJ´s for only 8 €! In my size! In good quality!
Ok, they look a bit... ummmm, as if they´re for kids. But hey, we take our glasses off at night anyways!
And really... in that quality for adults you pay at least double! I got the two last ones in my size, yay!
Ok... they sit a bit more tight, but hey...

And I can work on that one, too now again!
On Friday 13th my crosstrainer broke down (mechanic´s fault when assembling) and we heard nothing of the company to do anything about it.
Ingo wrote a rather "angry" E-Mail yesterday, no answer.
Today I also asked if something went wrong and ta-daaa, this evening way past 6 the phone rang, a guy came and 20 minutes later it was all ok again!

Actually it was good it happened, got so much done in the "household"!

And to top it off beforehand, we had a real sunny day and my new teamleader finally saw flip-flap in action...

...smiled and said, "cool flower!"

A good day.
To be honest, though... I´d pay more for PJ´s and rather be taller than only 1,64 m... But, what the heck, life could be worse, like really, stop whining, self-me! (that´s no word, "self-me", huh?)

Tis N' Tat

2012-01-24T17:38:00.005+01:00

Nope sadly not my healthy dish, it´s Ingo´s. I got my Father´s genes. Apart from Tuna and fish-fingers I sadly don´t like fish...
Have to add... that green "fork" is for peeling cooked potatoes. My Mum got it from hers and she gave it to me ages ago.
Still have it, despite moving more than three times with it.
Oh, and it´s green :-)

Got a bit slack with blogging lately.
My crosstrainer broke down cause some not so clever mechanic put the v-belt on in the wrong direction and the thing ripped in two.
That was Friday a week ago :-(
Bad service. And bad weather, hence no alternative to go outside. My back hurts.

On a better note: I get some stuff sorted out.

Hmm, this was very yummy, savoy cabbage:

The other Sunday we tried the egg-warmer I got in my Adventkalender. I wait for sunny weather to get good pics of the highlights in the Advent-Calendar...

The flaming heart now has a fixed place, too, the woman got a stick in her butt for it, Ingo is so creative ;-)

We didn´t get up all that early last Sat, but got the best parking-space none-the-less:

We needed very spontanously breadrolls and went to another bakery as our usual. The Lion-Bakery :-)

And these onions gave me a weird look, kinda:

Other... it´s quiet here.
The notary still didn´t give any notice, so I still didn´t visit my hometown to sort certain things out.
I thought Bro would be in a hurry to start, but no.

He wanted to come over last Sat for my "Birthday", but the weather was so yucky, I asked them to come when the weather is better.
Well, let´s see.
It still feels unreal that my Mother is dead.

Cold Sun

2012-01-16T20:45:00.002+01:00

Dang, it got cold over here, but sunny, too, for a change.
(Yep - new glasses from Bro, they react to the sunlight - love em.)

So on Saturday afternoon we decided to go for a walk… and ended up in the city! We haven´t seen the place in daylight for quite a while…

I love you Bebi? Hehe, must´ve been some students:

The Alte Waage and Andreaskirche:

And Brunonia of the Quadriga, the largest in Europe, I can add:

Some old half-timbered house:

And right beside a new, quite colorful house:

Some art, oh my, I just love frogs :-)

Who would´ve known that in this tree a woman was hiding?

Henry...

And the real one:

Always good to see him!

And the bird opposite of him, overwatching it all:

Ingo got himself a Braunschweig T-Shirt and a -Jumper and me a -jacket. Pics sure are to come.

Yeah, we love our city, huh? ;-)

(Night) In The Museum

2012-01-14T17:35:00.000+01:00

Last Saturday we went to the Museum of natural history. They have Dinosaurs on display, hence this one is welcoming the visitors. Guess I´ll see him more often, Ingo bought annual tickets. We should´ve done that last year, the one where we had no summer… I hope for lots of bike-tours and a summer this year!

Well. Despite it being Saturday and rainy, the museum wasn´t too crowded. First we went downstairs, I just love those colorful fishes:

Find Nemo...

Nothing like AQWA and this “new” cam is really bad with inside pics without flash.

Speaking of grey, rainy weather… this cheers one up, no?

Weird guy:

More green, snake included:

And isn´t this felly too cute?

Up we went and guess whom we found there? Stumpy!

Know the little stromatolithe in Shark Bay, WA, who leads you through the path, explaining how his life works and shows you his ancestors (EIP, “erode in peace”).

Ahhh, sweet memories.

Hamelin Pool, where we had brekkie with a slightly bugged out tourist-guide who told us that you can use dettoil mixed with baby-oil against the mossies. Works only when there aren´t too many of them, though. But it made a nice memory.

Here is another slice from Shark Bay:

Sorry again for the blurry pic, but do you see some similarities here? ;-)

And this one reminds me of Zoidberg from futurama…

Now, stop here, otherwise you put yourself at risk! I doubt, though, that a rope like that would stop this guy, huh?

A “small” dino, yikes, those sharp teeth!

See that foot beside him? Does it belong to “Rexi”?

See how huge that dino is? That´s me in the picture, I couldn´t even reach his hipbone! He probably´d helped me up, he seems to grin in a friendly way:

Pic also blurry, taken by Ingo. Next time we really need to take his camera!

I soooo love the sea:

These are only dioramas, though. But with a bit imagination… Skip imagination in the following one:

Ewww… Since I don´t wanna end with such an ugly (yet kinda amazing) pic, I show you what I found in the supermarket before, it´s kinda distracting:

Is the print for in case some elephant might stroll by? “Here, take those.”

This Saturday was great, too, pics are to come.
Yep. Back in life. Still have my moments (kinda often) about my Mum, but we go on.

Where Is Your Husband?

2012-01-09T21:04:00.004+01:00

As mostly every Monday we stuck to our "after weekend-relationship-and-sickness-tradition" and went to the city today.
Boy, nasty weather, really.
And again, in the shops there was over 20C, so you really get HOT - ccccold - HOT... brrrr. Isn´t the customer supposed to feel good, not the staff? Why not wear adequate clothes, I do that, too!

Anyhows. We used to have Turkey, Ham and Beef-sandwiches at Subway, but they took it out of the program, so sad, was so darn yummy.
Since then, Ingo has no more of the stuff.
I occasionally still do, like today. I love the Turkey-Ham best (yes. I know.... the blog-title... I maybe only dislike Ham when warm?).

The cash-out-guy, probably my age, saw me, said "Turkey-Ham?" and then added, "where is your Husband?"
I said, he waits outside, he has fish today.
He gave me a (releived?) biiig smile and said, "give a big hello from me to him, will ya?"
Moments like these... made me smile big, too, made my day a bit.

Was my first day at work.
Colleague F. came over, shook my hand like forever and asked how I´m doing. Did he really want to know? He was out in a sec.
T. also shook my hand and patted my back and asked also. He even waited for an answer and came back later to also make jokes about the new black coat that has fur. Like one sweater of mine he always comments with, "ah, brought your cat today? ;-)".
We´re all one age-group, btw. Good thing, Bro has to handle 20 years difference...
A., whom I share the office with said nothing. Did she really not get it? Women-stuff?
And my team-leader was short about it, too. He´d lost his Dad to Cancer, too and told me I get three days off on "special-holiday", I can take whenever needed.
My friend P, who works in a different part of the machinery, invited me for Friday for lunch. Like, she comes over.

Bro and I exchanged E-Mails.
This is one pic of the beautiful flowers on the grave with Ingo´s and my farewell:

It was a tough day at work.
And so darn much to do, I worked through, also through lunch.
Actually I wanted to write a thank-you-note to the Pastor (or, as Ingo states, he is not a Pastor but, as in The Simpsons, a Reverend (Lovejoy) - is there a difference?).
I´d like to tell him if we had one like him back then, maybe I´d found a way between science and religion, does it make sense?

Well. A tough day and oh-so different too, after my Dad died (different feelings). Nice people made it a lot better.

And you should´ve seen Ingo´s facial expression when I stepped out of Subway with those greetings for him.
Braunschweig is a major city. And a village :-)

Final Good-Bye

2012-01-05T21:48:00.003+01:00

Well, from the "original" family it´s just Bro and I left now. Weird thought, hurtful.

We started in Braunschweig in sunny weather. In my home-town it was grey and rainy and the others told us there was tunderstorm earlier.

The little chapell was full already. I wasn´t able to notice anyone but Bro who got up and hugged me, we sat down and he took my hand.

In the middle was the coffin covered with pale-pink Gerbera. To the left was a wreath "We miss you, H and A", in the middle a wreath in the form of a heart saying "Your little sunshine, M", to the right where we sat one "In love and thanks I and I" and some from the relatives.
"I did it my way" and ... uh, I don´t remember... another fitting song was running (melodies only) so we could all picture the scene.

The pastor then did a fantastic job.
He told of Mum´s strength, how she loved doing sports, that her love to technical stuff went so far that even in the last weeks Bro had to try to hide broken old clocks from her (she also was a watch-maker).
He told from the escape to Germany, how my parents met... Short and very nice.

Then we walked behind the coffin to the grave. The pastor again had some very reassuring words. I was the first to throw in my flowers, then Ingo, Bro and Wife. Then her oldest Brother, S, whom I am not allowed to call "Uncle" cause he feels old then. We don´t wanna do that to an 80-y-o, do we?

It must be awful to be the oldest and bury Sibling after Sibling. He respected we don´t want expressions of condolences at the grave, but the other Siblings did not. So he came back to hug me.
Family is ok, really.
But what do you think how many non-family-members disrespected our wish...

One woman I didn´t even know grabbed my arm, put the other around my shoulder and kinda forced me to walk very slow, talking and talking as if I was dumb. It was the girlfriend of some not-first-grade cousin.

The closer ones met for a soup and some sandwiches afterwards and I tell you, this little girl made it all bearable:

She can run around now and entertained us all.
Ingo´s parents had to leave early. His Mother hugged me long and said, "now that you don´t have a Mother anymore, you still have a MIL". That was very nice of her. Because... we had a weird start and then a bad time inbetween. And Ingo and I are "just" Spouses, not married.

Them leaving gave me time to go over to the Aunt I love best, Aunt G. Little Niece loved her best, too, no wonder. G went through lots of sicknesses, has no stomach anymore but never lost her love of life. Always funny, always in a good mood. So sad she lives in Switzerland.

Was so great to hear all the funny comments from Uncle W again.
A cousin (the only one who came) I spent some time with as a kid called me her "favorite Cousin" - um. .. We haven´t talked since our Granma died 9 years ago. And there wasn´t much to talk about now, either. She wants to visit me some time. Let´s see.

When we left everybody hugged me, (Uncle) S was the last and said, "hope we meet under better condition again, little Iris. I still have to call you little Iris, you´ll always be this for me. You were so little always."
I have to add, though, that this side of the family... well... no one is tall ;-)
Maybe it´s my nose? Or the fact that I was in little Niece´s age when visiting him on his boat and, like little Niece, picked up every little corn and stuff from the ground to give to him.

The way back was very, very stormy, am I thankful Ingo was driving. He parked my car right in front of the house, too :-)

Well.
I thought I could never wear the black coat I bought for this "occation" yesterday ever again.
But actually... thanks to those wonderful people there are also nice memories stuck to it.
Maybe I wear it tomorrow.
As cousin M - the one Ingo recognized on my Dad´s funeral at once just from what I had told him about M - he is right. This was a very important part of mourning.

Mum. I often complained to Ingo I have to call you on Wednesday nights and you never found an end. You talked and talked and talked.
Guess I´ll miss it at times.

Hope you found your peace.
As Bro chose for our wreath, "In love and thanks".

Shoes, A Pastor, Meds And I

2012-01-04T09:50:00.003+01:00

To my my total surprise there now was a Reno-Shoe-Shop opposide Bro´s Shop.
I went in and found some super-cute green shoes, summer shoes, high-heels. I can´t walk in them, but tried them on none-the-less.
And then I simply walked out.
Did I get in barefooted?

I´d never ever do that. Really, never. Not pay.
Plus... we have stormy, rainy, cold winter-weather and there is no space for such a shop there.
And how would I "walk" out in shoes like that?!
Plus... Reno... gah.

My friend P was suddenly there, too and I told her I had "something" to do in there, but the shop was closed. I wanted to give em back, secretly.

P opened the door and they were on total sale, full of people, that tiny shoe-shop.
I saw the most creative shoes, green ones, mostly, often in my size even and tried some on.
P found some shoes with "fur" and asked me to look and if they suit her.
I really tried to help her and afterwards looked down and found myself in old, ugly brown shoes way too big for me.
And never found the green ones I wanted to give back.

What did happen?

Long story short: I went to the little pharmacy around the corner yesterday, needed two things, one a Tranquilizer, which they had to order. I said I wanna pay now - like always! (with my ever-needed eye-drops, they always have to order) - wondered about the low price, but really... these days I´m not my usual self.
Came back at 6 pm and the other girl wanted me to pay for the darn Tranquilizer. I was like huh? I had no money with me.
The first girl is a bit dumb. I usually pay for everything, why would I split it and make it more complicated?!
I was told to take the meds home and pay later.

And still felt so bad that I dreamed such a weird stuff about "stealing"!

Long story long:
I called my doc yesterday after I kinda lost in when trying to talk to the Pastor about Mum. I got teary, hands shivering, even my legs were jiggling.
The Pastor is probably a wee bit older than I, longer hair, very open-minded, understanding, clever, also good-looking ;-)
I calmed down, also cause Bro talked like forever.
We were to talk about Mum´s life-story and tried to find out when she was working in Helgoland.
On the chair I sat the coat my Mum gave me ages ago was hanging. She had bought it in 1965 in Helgoland, that I knew.
The Pastor tried a peek but, well... I was sitting there, right?
When he left I had Mum´s last days so present again, I was about to "loose" it again, but saw the Pastor took a longer look at the coat.

Terminal care... these shoes just are too big for me.
That´s why I called my Doc and asked for help.
I try to find the right dose today.
I don´t wanna nearly "break" down like I did on Dad´s funeral.

Am I weird, weak or what else? Did you accompany some loved ones in their last, difficult days, is it normal to need so much time to get over it?
I dread the funeral tomorrow.
Do you have tried Tranquilizers?
"Good" thing: Doc turned my "holiday" into sick-leave. This really is no holiday.

So Strong

2012-01-02T16:57:00.001+01:00

I took the rest of the week off.
"Last time" Mum managed everything on her own.
Now Bro and I ... wonder how she did it. So much to do and you just feel like running away, pretending it´s not true.

Tomorrow Bro and I meet for Brekkie in his place and then meet the Pastor. The one who mixed up Bro´s name on his wedding. I still have to grin on that one (his FIL was like, "who is T????" like really loud).

This is what will be in the local newspaper in Bro´s place:

"There will always be lines of your life.
pictures, moments and feelings,
that make us remember you
and let us believe
you´re still with us.

In Love and Thanks we take leave from our beloved Mother, Mother-In-Law, loving Grandmother, Sister, Sister-In-Law and Aunt.

In silent grief..."

These are not our words, this is no time to get creative. But they sum it up pretty much. Just about the "silent", aw, well.

The funeral will be on Thursday.

What should the pastor say?
People in Bro´s town say, hey, this is no surprise, she was so weak and getting weaker by the weeks. Cancer had an easy game with her.

Yes and no.
Yes to the first. But not really. She had trouble eating, she was getting thinner. And hence it really was no surprise she could not fight an infection.

She was strong.
Forever I will have two pictures in my head:
Dad sedated and helpless.
Mum on her side, that made breathing a bit easier, taking up her skinny arm to wave me good-bye.

She was a fighter and Cancer had no chance on her, it really was the darn infection in combination with being so skinny already.

Actually she died of starvation and thirst.

But we had asked her and she didn´t want to hang on forever without a chance of getting better.
Dang, still have to print those forms for patient's provision for Ingo and I.

Ingo is in full flu-mode, SIL and Bro are sick, too. Me. All good, except for a racing heart.

On one hand I am thankful she didn´t have to suffer for long. But... ya know.

Bye Mum

2011-12-29T13:39:00.001+01:00

At 01:00 pm Bro called me.
Pic... Mum to the right. To the left: Me. Just like I feel today. Only... Mum is missing.

I am thankful, somehow.
It was no living anymore for her or us.

Still.

Funny thing. Couldn´t eat all day.
15 minutes after Bro´s call I got so darn hungry.

It´s over. I am a person without parents. Accept it, stupid-me.

What Is Difficult?

2011-12-29T11:42:00.000+01:00

Mum is dying (insert drama here, but it´s true).

Bro was suggesting I go see my Doc.
At first - oh, and this is a post about me, feel free to skip it - at first the muscles of my thigh (front) did hurt (still do). I had the explanation that the stairs to the hospital might be the reason.

Then the muscles on the other side started hurting, like real bad (for a healthy person like me). No idea where this comes from.
Bro suggested I cramped in sleep?

Anyhows. I didn´t go see the doc.
Buckling the bike up from the cellar, cycling with aching muscles (or loosing the place where I left my car, taking the car... New Years is coming and this place is rather safe for the car) gah, no. Then I´d had to wait endlessly... she takes her time for each and every patient - and she would´ve made me cry, who wants that?!).
So... no way.

So. Here I sit in my PJs.
Just got an E-Mail from friend P who sits at her PC in her PJs.
She asked when I stroll in. I don´t. Found Aponal, an antidepressant my Doc subscribed me ages ago (I checked the date, it´s ok).
She wanted me to take it so I find sleep better. Just in case someone reads along and wonders.
I just wonder (I wonder al lot these days, huh?) why I get "allo, allo, je t' aime, je t'aime" screamed at me from the TV? Je ne t'aime pas, but I need indeed washing powder!
Anyhows.

Life, huh?
It can be the best thing in the world. And the worst and all inbetween. But some day it has to end.
I kinda love the story of Highlander.
Live forever, see everything develop. From Zuse-PC to iPad and all

Oh, boy, I tell ya/myself. Doc isn´t stupid. I´m getting tired from this stuff.

Whilst Bro is in total panic-mode... I kinda. Am different.
My Mother is dying. This minute, like all the other minutes and hours and days.
Bro said she is off contact.
Her heart is so darn strong, she cannot leave this place. She is in no pain.

Call me bad. I can´t find myself in the car driving all the way when my Mum maybe feels I´m there, but probably not.
I went through all this with my Dad.
Only.... Ingo lived in a different place.

What is diffcult? One of the things is being me.
Bro would want me in hospital 24/7 at my Mum´s side. Spouse... aw well.

It´s difficult to find the right way. So many accidents happen and since Ingo told me of his flat tyre that decided to happen at 120 km/h... I´m even more in panic.

We could´ve had a week for us.
Didn´d happen.

Mum...

We Are Sailing

2011-12-27T18:43:00.003+01:00

The "problem" is Mum´s healthy heart. That "Gal" is good for a joke, still.
Oh, by golly. Where do we sail to, all around the world?

I am to call Aunt G in Switzerland and Uncle P in Spain. Um. Hello. Bro gave me all those outta-Germany-guys! Aw, well. Aw, well. Ya know? I cry and cry. Her heart is too strong to let her die.
Mum, like... really? Are you serious about this, huh?!
You have a weird sense of humor. Really.

And somehow...
In some years... you´ll make me laugh about it. Maybe.

Just To...

2011-12-25T23:05:00.001+01:00

not forget:
We´re the "Kaiser-Kinder", Bro and I.

If there is a heaven or such: Dad.
We still roam around.
We´re Bro and Sis. Your kids. "Hi". Mum is on her way :-(

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T17:18:00.012+01:00

As most also we still had to run errands on 24th, stupid us.
Well, but this way we now know: Santa Clause in Germany is driving Volkswagen Mercedes ;-)

Yeah, I know, you probably think, oh Dude, we had this years ago!
This is Germany, remember?
I still wait for cooking oil to spray! Still!

When I went to see Mum on 23rd she was... well, what. Pale, thin, but without the big mask, only the small tube for oxygen.
Bro even made her eat a bit whilst telling of little Niece´s last adventures. Mum also laughed a bit even. Bro stayed longer than I and Mum waved me good-bye like the tough warrior she always was.

The 24th was cold and rainy. Still, if you feel like it, you can enjoy hot tea or a beer outside, the Café/Bar around the corner put some fur down:

We didn´t visit, I was cold to the bone. Heart racing all the time. Like now.

We "celebrated" Christmas with a Störtebecker-chocolate-beer in a Mumme-glas.
Typical German, huh?

Just ignore the pill in the pic. At times I´m just really bad at taking pics...

The 24-day-Christmas-candle I found on December 1st in my Advent-Calendar burnt down.

I took the pic cause it symbolizes so much. Or not enough.

Those monks who hug... I had bought them in black and white. Mum brought me these from a holiday, they´re red and yellow. I put the others away to give to SIL, she loves black/white.
The other day saw those in blue/white in Bro´s place, guess they´re from Mum.
She always took great care to ensure Bro and I get the same. That no one is "better", as my Dad and Grandma did (for Bro).

Bro and I are like these Monks.
Mostly.

Yesterday SIL called to say Mum is sedated. Bro is there, it can be over any minute now.
Called the hospital this morning and they said, Mum is still there, so I called Bro to say I drive over. He said, go NOW. He himself felt sick. I ate on the run and went.

New carers, but they knew I´ll be there, no formal procedure. Now. Is that good? I never wanted to be known in intensive care, I tell ya.
Mum opened her eyes and recognized me.
I sat down at her bedside, took her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back. Her hand was very warm. Her teeth were not in position, I asked the carer to put them out. She talked to my Mum and explained to her.
I need to write this down. Just need to. I cry as I type.

Somehow I always knew Ingo will make it.
And I know she will not. We only wait.

Mums lips were very, very red, too. Must be the medication.
I told her and showed her I got the DVD she wanted to see. I told her what Ingo said this morning:

My Dad is still in our kitchen.
She opened her eyes and I told her of the pics that still didn´t make it out of the kitchen.
Pics of her and my Dad on their silver wedding.

Pics of Bro and I in Cologne...

Of Ingo and I and that I still have to add SIL and Niece.

Maybe it had helped?

I felt so darn bad. She was in and out of consciousness all the time and after an hour I left. I sayed good-bye only very quietly.

Went to the car and told Bro what the carers had let me known.
He was like: HELLO?! You wanna leave already?!!!! I was there yesterday for 11 hours! E-L-E-V.... you get it.

That was when I lost it.
I sat in my car screaming at him that all he does is demanding and when Ingo nearly died over weeks and weeks he didn´t even bother to come to Braunschweig once, to see how I cope.

I wanted to talk to him about this... one day in the future.
But the pressure was just too much.
I cut off the phone, jumped out of the car and headed back to Mum.
Bro called and I answered, I´m in hospital, phones are not allowed in here!

Drama.
Went back to Mum.
And this was the right thing to do. She was asleep, but woke and saw she is not alone, one of her children is there.
The ward round was due and the doc told me they don´t force her to drink anymore. She is in no pain. He talked to her, too, despite she lay there with closed eyes.
These guys there in Bad Gandersheim are the best.

When I compare this to how Ingo was treated here ein Braunschweig, I could just puke.

Bro had brought them all some chocolate as a thank you.
He is a true businessman, no? I was too much in panic-mode to do what I said we should.

Well.
Bro sms-ed me he is a fool and very sorry and that I should call when I leave.
I didn´t know how to get this - does he want to know if I stay there 11 hours?

I stayed another hour and then it was just too much. I felt shivering all over.
I didn´t say Good-Bye this time. I just couldn´t.

Back in the car I wrote Bro an SMS that I leave and don´t feel good.
He called me and asked to stop at his place so he can hug me.

I´m so darn glad we are like this. We can rip off each other´s heads and be good again the next minute.

He hugged me very strong and long and I hugged back, he led me into the kitchen, I sat down on a chair, he kneeled down before me and hugged my knee, we talked.
He told me Mum yesterday had asked for me... and Ingo even.
He said he had never realized how serious Ingo´s situation was back then.
And this is what my friend P. had told me, too.
I let no one know cause... I needed to function, ya know?
"Only" my online friends were there for me (thanks so much every one of you) - those who cannot really hug me, so I don´t break down.

We then went to the living room where Niece was having lunch.

She sure felt something serious is going on, poor girl.
They also gave me a pressie:

Pic taken at kindy. She´s not used to "pose", usually we just take pics as life runs along. Anyhows, thanks, guys.

Bro also finally had my new glasses ready! No pic I just look bad. Not due to the glasses, of course.
Nice was so darn cute. After a while she came over and grabbed my knee, later she had fun running into my arms, hugging me and making it back to the other corner of the room.
She did so until she staggered around like a drunk, that´s how tired she was.
Guess little kids understand a whole lot and do their best to help, no?
Will she remember her green fish gave her "kisses" of air today and keep that game and remember me doing it? Probably not. Still, such a cute kid. Without her... this would have been a total horror.
Still life goes on - Ingo is making Kale, oh, yum.

Summed up... this is the ugliest Christmas we have to go through.
I wait for the phone to ring and hear that Mum has made it. This is no life, this is dying.
Since last Sunday she is in intensive care.

I think of you, Mum. And Bro.
And I am thankful snow is only in a snow globe.

Mum Play Acts Darth Vader

2011-12-20T20:59:00.004+01:00

Pic (like totally) out of context... love these, one of the few good things of winter...

Well. Today was a bad day.
Woke with Ingo at 4:thirty-something and fell asleep again till the clock woke me again at 5:40 - he couldn´t even say good-bye :-(
Cleaned the kitchen, surfed the net a bit and was at Bro´s place shortly before 9.
He and Niece had both overslept, so I met the Wee one shortly, joined them on the way to day nursery.

We talked and talked, Bro and me, was kinda "therapy" and went with two cars to the hospital Bad Gandersheim. Me (oldest first), Bro and Niece were born there and now Mum... fate or doom, they have humor, huh?

Yesterday Mum needed a little extra oxygen with the mobile tube I already knew from when my Dad was at this stage.
Today... she needed a mask that covered the whole face. Beeped all the time when air got in. She can not get used to it, otherwise she´ll "forget" how to breathe at all on her own.
Every breath took her still a lot of efford, it was a real pain to see and hear, I got breathless, too. (Like... all is well with my breathing, no worries).

At one point she looked at me full of fear.
Yeah, try to give a faithful, reassuring smile to that.
She was in and out of consciousness/sleep all the time.

The male-nurse called Guido I really do like best. He talked to us forever, he pat her cheeck when adjusting the mask, smiled at her, talked to her. They all take their time, they´re all fantastic - quite a huge contrast to Braunschweig, to where Ingo was.

Usually you´re allowed 30 minutes max in intensive care over here in Germany.
They let us stay as long as we like. Ok. We just sit there and keep quiet.

Guido said, most people don´t visit. They "can not" see their... you cannot say loved-ones, right?! ... their ... sick ones with all the machines attached.

Hello?!!! They have to live through that! Certainly I´m there, we´re there.

At one point I thought my Mum was calling me and Guido asked what my name was and agreed it sounded much alike but was just an exhausted sigh.

The title? At first I tried to bring in some humor. But Mum doesn´t know Darth Vader. I could´ve guessed that, stupid me.
She gets morphine, but only such a small dose that she´s still fully here.
Now... is that good?

I have to work tomorrow.
I drove to work back then every morning, too, wondering if Ingo will still be breathing when I come back. At least Mum is in good hands. What did I do back then?!
I had no (mental) help, didn´t know better.
Bro is deaf on that ear, totally.

Need to get a patient's provision for both of us, I don´t wanna end up weird and helpless.
Will tomorrow be a better day, was today the low mark?

(Mis-) Understanding

2011-12-19T22:08:00.004+01:00

This is about my Mum dying. Yeah, drama again, huh? Yes, it is. Because she is still there. She can listen, she can understand. Well, now they eventually start morphine (did this afternoon), it´ll probably end soon.

Bro is his own Boss. I´m just an employee. I am the only one in my project now, too. We were three people once.

Bro expects me to be there every day.
If I´d do so, I´d loose my job, it´s as easy as this.

My Boss today said, "go!" No, actually he said, "Dear Iris, there are things more important than your job, go see your Mum, and all the best wishes. A."
Whilst I have over 100 km one way, Bro has 15. I am totally night-blind and there is a huge construction-site with blinking lights (oh, and winter!).
When I said I wanna leave so I get home when still light, he didn´t like it. Hello?

We are family, we have to be there for one another.

Yeah, right.
When we came home from our "holiday" in 2008 cause Ingo´s Granma was dying, we stopped shortly at Bro´s place due to some glasses-stuff (he´s an Optometrist).
Ingo looked - in my eyes - much better already.
Bro went all pale in shock, cause actually Ingo looked like our Dad just before he died of Cancer.
Bro went home, to a friend, drank so much he couldn´t work the next day (the joy of being your own Boss, huh?)... and... and??? Never made it to Braunschweig. Never came here to hug me, to be there for me or anything!
Nothing.
Yeah, so much for being family, for being there for one another in the hardest times.
He helped us move, he made the ceiling in the living-room. And he visited twice.
Umm.. yeah, twice. Or was it three times? Me... countless in the same time.

He said a few weeks ago, we need to meet regularly now. We´ll also come to Braunschweig at least once.

I still wait.

All the new stuff we have. After all my Mum paid a lot for this, too. When I said, you have to come here one time she was like, "one?!".
Yeah, right. Now it´s none.

Should I say something, should I be honest?
Back then I daily thought... will Ingo still be alive when I return home from work?
Yes, he was. In pain.
Then he was gone, in hospital in Lübeck at his Bro´s (Doc), far away, I had to work.
Was my Brother there for me?
No.

This is what Ingo realized, too.
It´s all to one-sided.
The way from their home to ours is loooong. Ya know? Big City, complicated.

But we´re over in no time, huh?

They have own parking spaces. We always have to remember where we left the cars and often have to circle around to find a place at all when it´s late in the evening. Yes.
We chose the city.
Still.

I am angry and disappointed.

Who is right, Bro or I? Why is he never there for me but demands me to be there for them?
My Spouse nearly died and he totally left me alone.
And now again speaks of being there for your family.
I just don´t get it.

I am thankful he talks to the docs and all (if Mum was here and I was... aw, ya know, I´d do it too!)

Right now I am very sad and also very angry.
If anyone still reads along... do you have any suggestion what to do?

Tell of my my disappointment, my anger, my mis-understanding? Tell him he totally left me alone when my own partner nearly died, the Love of my life?
And now tells me such stupid stuff of "family"?
Ignoring the fact that I work 45 minutes more every day so I can have a day or two off each month for family?

I am so... sad, mad, all.

Now I know why I get a pressie nearly all day in my Advent-calendar. My friend P. probably had a guess :-(

Flaming Heart

2011-12-16T17:43:00.002+01:00

Guess what I found when I came home yesterday?

Yepp, the Drachenfels-heart Ingo ordered on Monday was already there (see also last pic in this post)! So, instead of healthy running we went to the city – I didn´t feel good all week anyways, tired bones, no staying power, must be the weather, I hope.

We got the heart and ran some serious errands and got some fun-stuff like a little Lion as a very handy bag for little Niece (I know… I have to wait about 3-4 years before such a pressie makes sense). Oh and I got another Braunschweig – Lion-City-bag, too. Then we went to the Christmas-Market.

Ingo had a soup, potatoe-soup - he expected a soup like the one his dear, late Granma made, with potatoes in it:

Sorry for the blurry pics (again! - and, yes - I asked Ingo if he minds me posting this pic, he said it´s ok) – hehe, does he have a bit of it on his chin? He doesn´t look happy cause the soup was puréed, too bad, but he got something yummy afterwards. Hackepeter in a Breadroll.

Right beside you could get freshly made Flammkuchen:

This has nothing to do with the blog´s title, I ate the whole thing in one piece. Notice that little onion staring with huge eyes? Didn´t help, I ate her, too ;-) it was raining a bit, that´s why we hid under the roof of a house.

Sadly they took some garlic, but I guess that won´t prevent me from getting another one on Monday – it was the most delicious Flammkuchen ever!!! So yum!

Eek. As I type this, huge snow flakes are falling. Gack! A colleauge said, snow would be fine – on Christmas eve between 6:30 and 10 pm! And then it has to melt away asap. She´s so right! Please not yet another hard winter, not 3 in a row, please, Mrs Holle, aka Mother Hulda (Mother?!), please think of those who have to drive by car to work, ok? Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain…

The way back home, I so love this part of December!

Also inside:

Ahhh….

And now here without further ado comes the flaming heart :

Ummm... this is an ado, huh? ;-)
But, you see... this is really special to me... and before I could say a word the lady in the shop had wrapped it up:

She failed to understand that we don´t make pressies for Christmas and Birthdays but spontanously. We both think it´s more creative and shows “more” affection. It shows you think of how to make the other happy all year round - but everyone as he likes :-)

And you can skip the word spontanously in this case as well.

As you can see the gift-box in itself is a piece of art:

I have looked oh-so-often at that heart on the box of my King-Frog-ring – their trick obviously worked, huh?

Ingo was considering quite some time, too, if he should present me the heart and asked me then before really doing it.

Here goes, a very first pic from yesterday:

Atm I wear it on a “chain” of leather that Ingo made as a provisional arrangement.

Here goes a pic Ingo took:

See, my little, cute King-Frog-Baby is in the picture as well :-)

We could´ve bought a golden chain (the heart weighs 11 g!), but I prefer to give the money to my Bro (goldsmith).

Here is the heart in Detail and yes, as you could see... the heart is the heart of a story!

Awesome, huh?

Oh, boy. What a day!

When we were home Ingo said it was a lot of fun :-)

Happy weekend everyone!

Gratituesday

2011-12-13T17:46:00.000+01:00

Today I´m joining Mandi because I´m thankful for thoughful friends.

Especially around Christmas it “sucks” when you´re about to loose or lost family, esp when it´s the parents.

I may be nearly 40 but imagining they´re both gone makes me feel like a lost kid.

Whom do you ask for advice in certain things when your Mother is gone?

Yesterday I found a card on the kitchen table, saying Ho-Ho-Ho and reminding me that also friends from the other end of the world do care and are aware of my Mum´s and hence also my situation – Mandi, you made my day - I thank you for being a friend.
Hehe... now I have the theme-song of the Golden Girls in my ear :-)

A real card is something different than an electronical one.

And look here:

I don´t think we have Christmas-themed stamps over here - how cool is that?!

I´m a sucker on this one this year, though.

I´m also thankful for my friend P who started to make personalized Advent-calendars for me after I´d lost my Dad to cancer.

That was 8 years ago and we still keep this tradition (both ways certainly).

The weird thing is…. Though the reason for this yearly mini-pressie-galore is a very sad one, I so look forward to the calendar. And enjoy finding things for hers all year round.

So… here is: To friends :-)

Oh, btw… being a sucker… I so wanted to make Pies with Ingo between Christmas and New Year´s (it´s a new field, so I need time and the feeling I´m off the every day stuff). I have the forms and the receipes – and very likely Ingo has to work those days, buhuuu!

We´ll see what we can do.

Dry Party

2011-12-12T21:31:00.000+01:00

(Yeah, I know, tidy is different... so much good stuff to look at, I just can´t decide...)

On Friday we went to my company´s Christmas-party.

On 17th floor we had a great view on the city, the room was decorated, everything nice, we only missed the announced live-music, but one of my favorite colleagues was there, so all was well.

We got a Prosecco as a starter and then talked and had some fun, my boss thanked everybody for our work.

Some time later the staff announced our Boss was hungry, so the buffet was opened.

Finally! Am I lucky I had had a snack at home before we left, otherwise I might´ve found myself in some corner suffering hypoglycaemia.

The food was yummy, really. I only wondered why there was only the appetizer?

The staff was very slow and unmotivated.

After the first course Ingo took a tablet. He tries to live without meds and it works fine, too, as long as he can eat at fixed times and knows the food. So, in this case neither was given and he took meds.

Well. One should think after the starter there would be a main course, no? Half an hour passed, then another and another. Nothing happened. Ingo asked the staff if there will be more food. Oh, sure, anytime now...

In the end we had to go home so Ingo could get something to eat – there has to be some food after those meds.

Guess my Boss was hungry when we left, he didn´t seem that happy when I said we got to go home to eat something... Hello? This was the worst service ever I had to experience!

Next day we made up for this with a visit to El Gaucho (yes. We got two seats on short notice on a Sat!!! The Chef was yelling from behind, “no longer than an hour!” and our waiter replied to us and him, guaranteed, I know these guys :-)

Our waiter has our age, we sometimes met at the footy, so you can say we “know” each other. When we told him about Friday he said, yeah, i-Vent... I´ve heard of that place before, really bad service…

And since everybody is xmas-partying atm also our bakery-staff exclaimed, what?! Only drinks? No, not even that properly...

A colleague said today the main course was... eadible but nothing special and the dessert more than just plain boring. Served at 11:30 btw...

Boy oh boy, how can that place survive? With a bad reputation like that? Ingo thinks I should complain, he definetivly will (he said). I don´t think those guys will care much, so I probably safe the time for something more productive, huh?

Have you ever left a party hungry cause there simply was no food served?

No Blood For Brekkie!

2011-12-08T21:13:00.003+01:00

Went to the... no: my eye specialist today (she has the same eye-problem I have, kinda, and wasn´t there last Friday). In the building was a sign that today you can donate blood. Ok, so after the visit at my Doc I went to donate.

Whilst I filled out the form, a man arrived and flutteringly and loud and actually kinda threatening asked the staff - volunteers, certainly - if after donating we will have a snack at the bakery downstairs again? And if so! Last time they refused to give him fancy cake for the voucher, but gave him a Breakfast!!!!! A Breakfast! At 5:30 pm! If he gets Breakfast again, he´ll never donate blood again!

I was already at the doc when that guy waited for his turn and started with this stuff all over again!
He demanded for the staff to go down and make sure he gets cake.

Boy... I mean... hello?! It´s a gesture, it´s to make sure you don´t pass out afterwards and they don´t have the room there to serve self-made food.
It´s not about food it´s about donating blood, you Jerk!

I certainly kept my mouth shut and got this "advent-pressie" instead (like everyone, including that Jerk).
On the back...

... it says, "Blood donors bring something great. A little thank you in return.
Merry Christmas and all the Best for 2012!"

Cute, huh? I give it to Ingo (it´s chocolate).

Anyhows. One of the guys really took the time to go down to the Bakery and talk to them.
I admit, I kinda thought, Brekkie? Jam and such? Meh. Aw, well.

After I spent nearly 60 € at the drug store for new meds... (am I thankful I never have to pay for glasses due to Bro being Optometrist), I went to said Bakery.

A very friendly girl handed over a plate with cheese, bologna, chicken breast, cream cheese, butter... and, yes, also jam. She added two bread rolls (I gave her one right back - who eats 2 breadrolls at a time?!), asked if I´d like tea or coffee and which softdrink, water or Pepsi and if I like I can have a second later.

Man.. I´m getting old, I tell ya! I was thirsty like crazy from donating!
So, I asked for a second Pepsi. And then I couldn´t help but ask her if that "Mister" got his cake.
Whilst before he was like loud an all she said he was very polite and certainly got his cake. And with rolling eyes said, hey, that way life never gets boring, huh? ;-)

Always see the positive side of things, huh?

Don´t Deny It Part I I

2011-12-05T18:30:00.004+01:00

Pic: Mum and I.

See part one here

Uganda. The Sky God had two children: Nambi, the Life, and Warumbe, the Death. Kintu, the human fell in love with Nambi and asked to marry her, which he was granted. God ordered them to populate the earth and said, hurry up, it won´t be good if you meet Warumbe. Half way Nambi realized she had forgotten the feed for her chicken and insisted on returning. They met Warumbe – he came down to Earth... and stayed.

Ruanda. When God sent the first couple down to earth, he gave them two bundles, in one was Life in the other Death, and he ordered: Gather all animals and each will decide which bundle he wants. The humans and all animals decided for the one with Death. Only the snake decided for the other. Ever since she rejuvenates by getting rid of her old skin – all others have to die. And they cried. God decided to kill Death, but Death cried to an old women, “please, help me, I´m in peril to life!” She hid Death under her clothes. God saw and said, what a pity for mankind, they´re a victim of their own stupidity”. And Death stayed on earth.

Greece. The tale of Pandora found a place here, too.

East Africa. In the old days, mankind didn´t wander around or sleep, which one complained about by God. God agreed to let them wander and sleep but said, now each of you has to come back to me one day. Mankind agreed because the one who had asked had experienced the sweet sleep on the way to God.

Catchword sleep: In the language you still find the equation of sleep and death: In old Greece graveyards were called sleeping places. In German for pass away you say sleep away, you put a dead person to his last rest.

The old Greek thought of Sleep and Death as twin-Brothers, the old Germans considered them to be Siblings. The Roman poet Ovid pictured Hypnos, the Sleep, as a merciful, friendly God: He brings oblivion and refreshment, he frees mankind of fears and distress. One of his Sons is the Dream, the other the Death, both are Sons of the Night.

Ecuador. The world was created and God decided to make mankind. He sent the Cricket to fetch stones, cause stones are of long continuity. The Cricket moaned that stones are so heavy. A Beetle came by and offered to do the job. God agreed but ordered the Cricket to go get clay. The Beetle was slow… we all know the rest of the story…

Brazil. The Great Ghost who created everything wanted to give mankind eternal life. He said: “Go down to the river, soon there will arrive three canoes, I will be in the third. Greet me gentle and with awe.” The first canoe arrived soon and smelled real bad, it was loaded with foul fish – they assumed it was Death. Some time later another canoe arrived, with a human-like figure on board. They assumed it was the Great Ghost and welcomed him with joy. It was Death.

Sulawesi. At the begin of the world, heaven and earth were close. God one day let down a rope with a stone. The woman and the man refused. God let down a banana and they took the fruit with joy. God said: You´ve chosen the banana, your life be alike: When the banana-plant gets new fruit, the bole dies. So will you, your children will take your place. If you´d chosen the stone, your life would´ve been like his: consistent and eternal.

Nigeria. God created turtle, mankind and stones. When they grew old, they rejuvenated. Turtle one day went to God and asked for children. God said, if you want children, you also have to die. The turtle said: When my wife gets pregnant, I will die. God asked mankind and they answered: We want to see our children and die thereafter. The stones said, no, we don´t want children and we don´t want to die. Be it, said God.

Chapter 3: Death as punishment

Central Africa. God Kalunga one day said to his Son: Go and get a goat from every being.

The Son went to the Sun who gave him a goat. Next he went to the Moon, the Stars and the Savanna and each gave a goat. Finally he came to Mankind. They gave him a goat. Satisfied the Son left. The humans called him back and asked what the goat was for, what they get in return – the Son had no answer and they killed him. Kalunga waited one year, then went to the Sun. The Sun said, he was here a year ago. I gave him a goat and he left. Kalunga got the same answer over and over. So he decided to test all, he ordered to dig a hole each and lie inside. The innocent will come back, he said.

After one day the Sun was out. 28 days passed, then the Moon was up again. The Stars and all plants of the Savanna came back after the dry season. Only the Human stayed inside. Kalunga now knew who had killed his Son and said: it will be this way forever: the humans will not return from their graves, they will not join the living again.

No Chef

2011-12-03T18:30:00.001+01:00

In my family it´s always the men doing the cooking. I have no interest in it, and worse: I´m really afraid of burning myself. I nearly fainted twice just seeing it on TV (first aid-movie) or being there (Ingo).

Anyhows! I made potatoes and Brussels sprouts today cause Ingo refused.
I´d even tried to make him meat, but the stove didn´t work (neither when he tried!).

He asked me to post that I´ve failed.

The potatoes were real good, just right! The right amount of salt, the time... "perfect". The Brussels sprouts could´ve cooked a tad longer, but were definitively ok.
For someone who never practices... it was good!
He told me more than twice that I had failed.

I feel so sad. Hurt. Why does he do this?
maybe this is not the place... but hardly someone is here, so... and those who do, I call my online-friends, so it´s ok.

This weekend started so well.
Then we got in a fight due to TV being too loud for me. He went away, I let him be angry and get calm, but I was too early. Now he´s angry again.
I have no power left, either.

Just today FB suggested a "friend"... a friend I cared a lot about, I e-mailed to and offered other options to keep contact (her sight vanishes). She never answered. Why that suggestion today? (I respectfully ignored it).
Sometimes I feel like I have no power left and see only the bad sides of life (Mum dying, Job turning into non-fun, family being difficult, Ingo... does he love me anymore? He has a hard time, too... but shouldn´we be there for each other even more? He´s against me as if I was... oh. Forget about it.

I´m no chef in the kitchen, nor in Life.
Let´s face it, Ingo is right. I´m a looser (insert self-pity here).

* I don´t like sauces. At subway they even know me cause I´m (obviously?) the only one who says: No sauce. I never liked that squichy stuff.

My Bad?

2011-12-03T15:23:00.004+01:00

This weekend started so good.
It was very likely Ingo had to work this Saturday - but he could report on Friday: The weekend has begun, yay! - He dreamed he works, though, how bad is that...

We got up, had a coffee, ran errands and bought Heinrich der Löwe-Bread (see pic)

We/he bought a Blue-Ray-DVD-Player some time ago and today 3 DVDs - it was fun!

Until... Well, Ingo had bought a surround sound system and all. And at times the movie gets LOUD, like really loud. He says it´s "dynamic" - it hurts in my ears. It´s not really the neighbours I care about (too much, since their son plays Basketball at 11 at night right above me), but it really hurt my ears.

First time I said so, he grunted. Second time: We watch it like this!, next time: Use ear-buds!! and then he turned it off and went away.

So much for a nice weekend.

On one side I even can understand a little! He is a tecci, loves this stuff.
But on the other hand... it really was so loud at (dynamical, har-har) times, it really did hurt, my ear (the one I was not covering cause I hold his hand) was ringing, I kid you not.

Wouldn´t it had been nice, he´d taken some kind of regard to me?

Now I feel like the failure of this weekend is part my Bad.
On the other ahnd... it was no fun for me. Why can´t he take the middle and turn the sound down at those loud scenes?
Do people really want that THEY ARE SCREAMED AT BY NOISE, IS THAT COOL????? - I hate it and smashed a weekend, thanks. The weaker one has to go, that´s me.

I´m so frustrated and hurt.

My work-project will die mid-next-year and the job following (at least there is one!) will not be half the fun.
The place where Ingo works very likely will be shut down soon. Yeah, finding a new job these days is "fun", huh? In Europe, har-har.

Ok. I´m, very negative today. Too bad, since it all started off so good.
Did I destroy it by saying this dumb stuff is too loud at times???? Maybe I'm just more sensitive and if he could step in my shoes for a sec, he´d feel the same?

I have the feeling it´s my Bad. Or not?
Anyways... sad it is. Only Sat afternoon... and I´d like to go to bed.

Hope your weekend is better than mine...

Addendum: He turned on the music so loud, I had to close the door.. and it´s still loud, how can he stand that?! He can hear perfectly, otherwise he wouldn´t understand the dialoges, spoken in "normal" volume. How can he select love-songs and... I feel like running away (if it wasn´t that darn cold outside).
How can you have a friend who is not your friend? I don´t get this.

Addendum...: Agressive music is played now. Watching "Lover of Life" and realizing how much Farrokh just looked like his Mum. And that in Interviews she called him "Freddie" - what a great Woman and Mum, huh?

Advent, Advent...

2011-12-02T15:01:00.000+01:00

Got my Advent-Calendar yesterday... wow, huh?
Pressie-galore... We went to the Christmas-Markets again, my friend and me. Boy, it was packed! Awful, so many people! Luckily we did that yesterday - it´s raining all day long today.

Left work early today due to very red, itchy eyes. First thought: Bring the car home, take the bike - will take 7 minutes, once on the bike. But it was raining, and, hey... there won´t be much traffic on a Friday at lunchtime... Yeah. Great idea. Took me at least three times longer, the city was more than full, the car-park nearby was full and the doc closed at 1:00! Was in 12:20. Next time: Take.the.darn.bike!

OneTen Without ... And Such

2011-11-30T18:01:00.001+01:00

Had the day off today. Ingo woke me before he left at 4:50 and I got so much done! By 9:00 I took off to meet my Mum, was there only an hour later.
Mum had had Brekkie with an egg and later munched down two pieces of Pizza, very good!
Pain was moderate, it´s weird, she seems so ok!

Around 11 Bro and Niece came by. Poor little Niece still has a cold plus a nasty inflammation of the middle ear. Poor little thing had to cry in pain when she had to cough.
But then she heard the rustle of paper!
And though she only had had a late Brekkie her Daddy had to share his with her and the world was ok again.

Really, for being so sick she is still fun to be around.
At one point Bro showed her the clothes-pegs. So she took one grabbed the chair, carefully walked behind her Dad and gave the peg to me with a big smile. I said Thank you, and she smiled again.

Boy... she even handled me over two bears:

Think they must be way over 30 years old and you can still use them! I took two home.

After I had about 5 pegs little Niece stopped shortly before she reached me, then made a face like she got an idea, took all her courage, let go off the chair and ran freely around me over to Mum and gave her a peg, too.
Sooo cute!
When turning around she fell each time, guess also due to the ear inflammation. She never did mind. Either she got up again or she simply stayed down and crawled the rest of the way.
Later she slept for two hours straight.

Poor ole chicken must´ve done something bad - at least he stands in the corner like a bad child:

We played a bit more after Niece woke up and she really made a little sad face when I left.
She babbles now, too. And.... sounds totally Chinese! Too funny!
Managed to get past the construction site with the rest of daylight and was home around 5.
With "mountain climber"-bread, Doner and a Ten Without Ham. Hometown-Food :-)
At da Nico I was greeted with, "are you on a journey through?" and then Mrs Da Nico told me she was amused by my Mum who last time ordered a "Ten Without Ham" for me.

So much food! And tomorrow I´m off to the Christmas Markets again with a friend.

Seems like food means a lot in my family, huh? ;-)

Season opened

2011-11-29T21:03:00.000+01:00

Christmas Markets 2011 are open. Sorry for the blurry pic. The old model of Fuji Finepix was definitively better…

I don´t like to eat sweets, but doesn´t this just look good?

Here is a fake Henry, my, we sure fall for that Lion, huh?

And VW is just plain everywhere!

New is this decoration, love it. Why can´t we have this until the green comes back?

And certainly, the Ferris wheel. Really too bad I´m such a whimp when it comes to heights.

We had a Mumme instead. Ingo also had Mumme-roast in a breadroll. Will go for that next time. The Currywurst I tried was, compared to famous, known and (very seldom since so darn fattening) loved VW-Currywurst, no hit at all.

Gemütlichkeit, isn´t this typically German? ;-)

And the huge tree in City Point.

This really is the best part of winter, all those lights make it endurable, no?

Off topic: Even the smoothies get a warm “topping”:

Wonder if someone really falls for this? 1,49 € is a bit pricy, I think.

Also off-topic:

“Glossy like old” – haha….

If it wasn´t so freaky and likely unhandy, I´d go for these:

What I certainly don´t like at all this time of the year, aka winter...

Outside it´s cold, the shops, though, are super-warm. I´ll never ever understand this concept. The staff runs around with light clothing whereas the customers don´t know how to have fun in fat winter-clothes!

I or we just rush through as fast as possible. Bet they´d sell way more if they made the temps for the customer, not the staff.

I mean... hello? I go to work in a thick sweater, too, not a T-Shirt! Like all of us, btw.
How about you?

Don´t Deny It Part I

2011-11-28T21:35:00.004+01:00

(Dad to the left, Mum in the violet top, Christmas-party, 19... 1976?.)

How Death Came To The World – Myths And Legends Of The People /
by Sylvia Schopf (Wie der Tod in die Welt kam – Mythen und Legenden der Völker)

Maybe you think it´s strange to read a book like this at all or in my situation with a Mum suffering incurable of Cancer.
(Fun-post ahead soon, with pics from Christmas-Markets)

But it helps me coping, and it´s interesting. And consoling, too.

When my Dad died (so fast in only two weeks) of Cancer over eight years ago I was helpless and numb.

Then I found the Undertaker-Web-Blog of Tom. It´s not morbid at all. Tom explains a lot, he gives individually advise. And you find sad, funny and hilarious stories as well. At first he wanted to be anonymous, but since the stories he tells have fake names and are out of the actual time-context and since so many are interested in this subject he organizes meetings, has written books, gives interviews.

Why I tell you this?

I think it´s important to deal with an inevitable subject, I would´ve coped much better back then, and I do now. And this helps not only me but also Bro and Mum.

So, people always were afraid of death and found many explanations for it´s reason. The overall idea, though, is: To try and give the Living a (mostly consoling) message – don´t worry about the Dead, they´re doing ok.

And: The one who negates Death negates Life.

Chapter 1 – it was decided.

One of India´s explanations: Brahma created everything and the growths was overwhelming. He couldn´t find a solution and got angry, which created devastating fires. He calmed down and a woman was born out of his anger – Mrs Death. But she felt with Life and cried about what was demanded of her. Brahma catched her tears and kept them. Mrs Death drew back for milliards of years and returned very rawboned. Brahma reassured her her job is not a sin and he offered helpers: Disease, Jealousy, Greed, Malice and Rage – they will do the work and Mrs Death will collect the Dead. He produced the tears and they became all sorts of diseases.

East Africa – God Naiteru-kop introduced Death to a man this way: Soon a child will die, you´ll have to bring the body to the bush and say: “Human, die and then come back. Moon, die and stay away forever.” But the man got it wrong and said, “Human, die and stay dead forever. Moon, die and then come back”. And this was irreversible.

Catchword Moon: It changes it´s appearance and makes it a symbol for Life and Death, Growth, Decay, Return, Change and Regeneration.

Australia, Dreamtime. The Parrotfish asked the Moon what will happen to all of us? The Moon answered: I will die. But not forever. I get thinner until there is nothing but my bones. Then I will restore and come back to life – we all can do it that way.” The Parrotfish disagreed and when he died, his body stayed on earth. Two Ghosts were already waiting to take his soul to his ancestors where he was given a wonderful welcome with music and dance to make the newcomer happy. He stayed two days, then went on a journey to the land of the Death and he never came back to Earth – like any creature.

Chapter 2 – Death as Adverse Fate

Central Africa. When the world was young no one died because Death was locked in a jar. A Toad was supposed to take care of the jar and to not open it. She took the jar carefully on her journey to relatives and met a Frog with whom she travelled together. The jar got heavier and heavier, the Frog offered help, but the Toad at first refused until the jar got too heavy after all. She warned the Frog to not let go of the jar, to not brake it. “Sure”, the Frog exclaimed happily and jumped ahead without too much care, stumbled over a stone, the jar broke into thousand pieces and Death was not to be caught again. And since then Death is in the world.

To be continued...

Hello Sunshine

2011-11-25T19:57:00.000+01:00

My colleague has a beautiful view in the mornings (or rather would have if she started early!) – saw this when I came back into the office and headed to the bin…

A bit later:

Those two towers belong to the Autostadt - where you now as winter-attraction can find the longest (150 m) and highest (30 m) free-standing coasting slide that´s open to public in the world. Too bad I´m afraid of heights…. The sleds are for free even. And the snow artificial, luckily. I really hope for a mild winter!

(We have one of the mildest Novembers since weather-recording. And no rain. On river Rhein the ships can take only half the load, in Bavaria woods are burning, it´s really weird)

Oh, and Ingo is boycotting me! This is what I found this morning when I came to the kitchen to grab my Brekkie and Lunch:

(To the right you see components Ingo is soldering, btw!)

Once you start nibbling those coated peanuts, you cannot stop (I couldn´t!).

Sweet to think of me though, thanks, man :-)

The healthy carrots will go home again… Well, since I have also half a kohlrabi left, guess that´ll become a snack when we watch the Millionaire-Show.

"Hi, My Name Is

2011-11-24T20:50:00.000+01:00

... Kim Basinger, err...

...Freddie Mercury."
20 years ago today Farrokh Bulsara died aged only 45.
Here is a little video with that Kim Basinger-scene and others, sadly whilst Freddie talks it is translated a bit louder to German.
So, if you wanna get a feeling for how we have to watch Discovery Channel and such on TV over here, give it a go :-(

Kim Basinger, haha, Freddie was funny like that.
For years I thought he ends the song "One Vision" with "fried chicken". Then I got (and sadly, sadly lost on one of our apartment-moves) the Making of to "One Vision" (the only time Queen allowed a camera-team when producing a new song). And, "there, you have it"... he really ends with fried chicken!
And the why and how´ll make you laugh to tears, too.

Guess it´s no use to you-tube for this today, heaps and heaps of people do.

By chance I once saw an interview he gave in Munich and I fell "in love" and was hooked. What a fine, cute, clever guy. A genius. So sad he had to go so early (but it was no surprise).

20 years. Time runs.

My Street

2011-11-23T22:01:00.001+01:00

My street - Henning Sußebach (pic is my parents house back then) this book is about the street you grew up in. 20 authors describe their memories. Because… in your street your way of life begins, your street meant the world to you. Here you scratched your knees when falling with your skates, here you found your first love, here you roamed around in anger when running out of your parent´s house after a fight…. right? Find yourself here, too? I do.

Some authors are “too old” (and guess some will be “too young”, but some things are worth mentioning to me, remembering. Because…

One of the authors grew up in Bochum, his parents had a backyard/garden. One that seemed so large back then and now is only 15 steps wide. Even though it might be cold, the author always feels summer, thinking of his home.
Colors are fading, though. “Everything is as old as I am. The trees, the houses, built in 1972, the year I was born.” Me, too, but my parent’s house was built in the 1930´s. Also… my parents don´t grow old together, as the author´s do.

An interesting concept is also this one: You get your pension as a young adult – this is the time to enjoy life, right? And you work when you get old, what else is there to do anyways? ;-)
In fact there was a man in Icking, Matthias Steiger, who went fishing, played cards, went to races, had heaps of women and met with friends a lot in his younger years. Later he worked hard, even at way over 80 he got up at 5 each working day, no matter how bad the weather was, delivered the newspaper and worked in his kiosk!

(Pic: Neighbour´s House, danger of snowslide on the roof)

The author realizes how beautiful the houses in his old street actually are and remarks he never noticed as a kid. Maybe beauty is no concept for children, he suggests. And better so – a kid should be happy, no matter if in a beautiful or poorer area.
He also wonders what happened if two people talked to each other about the town they grew up in – one who´d stayed and one who´d left.
Can do so with Bro, actually.

Another author, who came back to Lüdenscheid, points out that today kids are outside about 15 hours a week – not even half as long as back then! And how you learned outside, without teachers or parents. Interacting, learning how to skate and all that.
Boy when I think of what we did back then. And no one knew! We picked a steep road and went as fast as our skateboards would go. We picked a street with little traffic and helmets were not known for skaters, either… the same with skates, phew, dangerous. But nothing ever happened apart from a bloody knee here or there.

Now, the author states, kids are protected all the time. Even apple-trees are banned from playgrounds. Windfall could attract wasps, you know? A kid could get stung by one, oh, beware… She says it´s better to take on John Wayne´s motto: Life means: Always get up one more time than you fall down.

I agree.

Wangen… this author remembers summerdays like this: in the late days of summer you often hear rolling thunder and then the first fat drops of rain fall down. So right. Remember the typical smell that came along with it? Where am I now when this happens, in the office?

Berlin. This author grew up in a Berlin that was still marked from war. Kids played in the ruins. Some adult surely was always there, having an eye on them.

I remember how my cousin and I discovered an old hut in her village. Guess it was at risk to collapse any time and no one knew we sneaked in. It was fun! We found old pots and pans and even some clothes. How fascinating to imagine who might´ve lived here and how. Guess I had a lot of luck as an unsupervised kid. Kid…. I also remember with “horror” how I found myself alone in the old Sülte when I was studying… that was life!

These days, the author says, the streets are hunting grounds for child abusers and and race course for those wanna-be Schuhmachers – from our point of view, he adds. Hmmm… I´d be a bad parent. I´d think so indeed and would be way, way, way too careful…

Kiel. Guess I´m not alone with my fear. Also this author realizes that playgrounds these days are “perfect” and clean – and empty. And that many fear psychos near their kids and keep them supervised in a “safer place”. How sad.

She remembers also how her mother sponatously invited a Japanese family who was outside and seemed kinda lost. New neighbours. She asks herself if she´d do this today, invite strangers to your house? Would you? I hope I am still intuitive enough to see if someone is trustable …

Minden. This woman remembers how she sat inside over quiet lunch-time (1-3, as it was) and watched the busses, read what´s written on them and this is what she picked out: J Ä G E R M E I S T E R. Yeah. Is produced in Wolfenbüttel, some 30 or 40 km from here. And she remembers in taxis the driver was separated by safety glass. Really? Today it would make more sense, you might think…

Wolfsburg. The author says usually the cosmopolitan, modern German says “awww, you poor guy!”, when he mentions he grew up in Wolfsburg.

Actually my project in that town for the customer Volkswagen was planned for a length of six months. When it turned out it´ll be a wee bit longer (like now I´m here for 10 1/2 years with it) people warned me not to move to Wolfsburg, it´s so ugly. Quite frankly… I have seen parts of town when searching for a job and thought, ew, ugly. I bet there are nice corners, but I never cared to find out. Heaps and heaps and heaps of Braunschweig people make their way to Wolfsburg to work and head back home as fast as they can.

Like Canberra Wolfsburg was planned from scratch in 1938, for VW, by H. By 1945 material was in short supply and barracks was what they could build only. From 1955 on urban settlements were built and the author states, Wolfsburg is a garden rather than a town. Hm, really?

Potsdam. Another author who grew up in WW II. It´s more a story about war. Sad when a good book ends with this subject.

Sox-Season Opened

2011-11-21T21:56:00.004+01:00

Or... Watch out!

Just not the Red but the Colored one ;-)
Brrr, it´s cold.
So, on the weekend Ingo opened up the season.

Apologies he took so "boring" ones! Mine are the "real" ones. An hommage to his late Grandma again.
I still picture her... on the floor with all the different small balls of wool, arranging same amounts for a pair - at the age of over 84!
Afte she finally (!) believed me those patchwork-socks are the coolest ever. They were an "arrangement" in the first place. She wanted to "welcome" me to the family, "accept" me with a personal hand-made pair of socks. And.. dang! Not enough wool! So heel and toes got a different one. Her first patchwork-socks she was kinda ashamed of. And I loved them. And she thought I´m just being polite....

She got more and more creative over the years and more and more family-members told her they love them. A new hobby that gave her a new job.

Yeah, socks. You can blog about those!
And her "My children" is back in my ears when we came to visit. Her warm smile. She really loved to have us over. After we had to move out, but that´s another story.

Grandma R... she lives through her socks.

Christmas deco is all over the town. One good thing about the darn cold season. On Wed the Christmas Markets will open.
And my friend P told me it´s not a good idea to take little Niece. All she´ll see is legs, legs and legs. Wait two more years and she´ll have fun.

Funny car we saw in the Christmas-Markets.build-up-chaos:

No idea where that comes from? Ingo still has some Cohibas from... 1985, I guess. Aww. Cuba. A nice place. Miss it.
Happy Monday!

Oh, btw. I bought Season 3 of Eureka to listen to it in the original - the German voices are pretty close.
And a documentary of the Klitschko-brothers - can´t wait for that (haha. I even have a book about em. Ingo is not interested, though). Aren´t they "cute"? It comes in German and Russian. After one of my "East-German" colleagues sang the alphabet in Russian to me (don´t ask, we are cool like that), I can hear "real Russians" as well.

I have winter-tyres on since a week, today I got Ingo´s tyres up as well.
They say it´s the dryest November since ten years. Not good for the environment. But good for drivers.

Addendum: Here is a Trailer. In English. Hm. Guess we´re a wee bit (!) like them, Bro and me, age -gap for sure, the same. We fight (and get angry at each other). But. We´re a team. Not as sexy, though.
Just saw it was released on Friday. No wonder the price is that high. Aw, well. And no. I never saw a "game" but I think it´s cute one of them called his Mum after winning and opened the call with "the other guy is ok" :-) Hehe. Cute, as I said. Ingo´s parents love to watch btw. Maybe I join in now? (nah...)

Talk Talk Talk

2011-11-17T19:54:00.000+01:00

("Talk, Talk, Talk" was a show over here so stupid, they had to let go. But that title is still present...)
I called my Mum yesterday.

Ummm? what´s with blogger?
Saturday, November 17, 2012??? Am I back from the future??? No, wait! Huh??? Is that my bad? I´m a magician, a mad scientist.... if you pay enough I´ll send you ... somewhere in time ;-) Maybe. By golly. Maybe my 5-7 yo-me (I look older than 5 in that pic, huh?) knew something about time-travel the now-me does not?

Anyways... my Mum answered the phone with a joke (Wed night it´s always me calling). She laughed and talked and talked and talked for way over an hour.

Reminds me of happy days like these in the pic above, this was on New Year´s Eve 1977 (I think) and actually I was too tired to enjoy being allowed to stay up that long. Umm… guess I´m back there again! ;-)
And on a side-note... the PJ´s are/were not available in Germany. My Auntie from Switzerland brought them over, my Mum thought they are a hit.
Yeah. Unless you are a girl and need to go pee (one piece of clothing!). Ya know... these PJ´s are for winter. Brrr.... (I just remembered that when posting a comment at a fellow Blogger from the US who visits Switzerland at times).**

Well. You could´ve thought yesterday it was all but a dream with darn Cancer.

Her voice wasn´t strong and at times she needed a break but all in all it was amazing.

We talked about little Niece and about going to the Christmas Markets (Ingo found this little film of Christmas Markets Braunschweig here).

I can´t recall how we came to this subject, but Mum remembered that Bro´s begin and end of studying were terrible days.

On his first day, on April 14th in 2000, our Grandma passed away.
On his last day, on August 19th in 2002 our Father lost his fight against Cancer.

He never ever mentioned this to me (he had left Cologne a week earlier, the day the last assessment was done to be with our Dad. It was clear it won´t be long). What weird coincidences life sometimes brings.

Speaking of “talking”.

Ingo has to work late-shift this week, so we see each other only very short when he comes home and I go to bed.

I have trouble sleeping and need a quiet time, so it is merely a “hi, kiss, night”.

Yesterday just before lunch he sent me an e-mail, asking me to turn on the PC when I´m home “so we can talk”.

I asked back, are you ok???? Answer: I have to drive to work now.

Last time Ingo had to work late-shift he was sick 5 days afterwards (certainly in our holidays). If he wants to live without meds, he needs a regular eating-schedule, so we were not happy when they told him again to do that shift.

So I was worrying like crazy! Is he sick? How bad? Has he been to the Doc and came home with bad news? Has something bad happened at work, has something bad happened with the condo, the heater or whatever???

Man and women, they really don´t talk the same language!

@Ingo: Next time you wanna chat: Write chat!

Chances may be good that Ingo won´t get sick, or at least not that severe. He eats at the same times as usual. Still wonder how he does that…

** Another memory with those PJ´s (I had several): My Dad was that generation who peed standing. And who forgot to put the toilet seat back down. We were talking, Mum and me and I went backwards, wanted to use the toilet as "chair". Yeah, guess what. I fell through, got wet and needed a whole new PJ. In winter. Again, brrr...

Guess Who´s Walking?

2011-11-09T21:32:00.002+01:00

Had a day off today and went to visit Mum (and Bro + Niece).
And Niece is walking! Not alone yet, but not bad, huh?
And how she´s dressed! Seems like someone there likes the color green, too! Today in Pre-Kindy a professional photographer was there, so Niece was dressed up in a cute skirt.

The way there though... we clearly have November. This was after 11 a.m., nearly Noon! And yes, I´m overtaking a truck, that´s why I´m on the left lane.

The sun was fighting his (?) way through, though.
(In German the Sun is a she and the Moon a he.)

So we went to the park after lunch. My home-town has some food I miss here, so I always look forward to eating out there, either Pizza or Doner kebab.
You can guess I was quite astonished when my Mum demanded: Go to ALDI and bring me some potatoes, please.
She´d made me some Grünkohl!
Oh, boy. She surely has her own way of saying "thank you"!
It.Was.Yum!
And she gave me at least three portions for later at home!
And I got some Doner, half of it I had tonight, another half will be lunch tomorrow. Yay.

Anyhows. Wednesday is still Daddy-Afternoon-Day and we went to the park.
Niece is like really sick actually with a cold, but still eager to walk:

At first she stopped every few steps, bent "down", got a stone and "presented" me with it. Mum reminded me I´d done the same to one of my Uncles back then.
With more and more steps she decided to handle over some air only. :-) Funny girl.

Here she´s on a big-child-swing with Daddy:

Guess she really kinda enjoyed, sadly my cam made blurry pics...

I thought these "Sun-Chairs" are quite cool:

It´s really weird how different this mean Cancer treats people.
Mum is in pain most of the time. But she seems well and her brain is ok, you can talk to her like everything was all right.
(Dad died after two weeks and was on morphine, so he was not really "there")

Hope we get some more days like this.

Guess Niece was really a bit lame due to being snotty and all. Took her some time to understand the concept of "bye-bye" this time.
She said "Mama...mamama", but I guess it was not directed at her Mama (which we say for Mum), yet (who was working anyways). She is 15 months mid/end November, that´s still ok, huh? Seems like she got all teeth by now, too.
A sweet little girl.

Brunswick Mum

2011-11-07T11:16:00.002+01:00

Autumn really is here, no way to deny it... The colors are quite beautiful, though...

And Ingo fits in, too, quite well, no?

You wonder what all this has got to do with a Brunswick Mum?
It´s not a Mum at all, though it sure took care of people. It was a local beer, it even was shipped to places such as India and the Caribbean.
And this weekend we celebreated the Mum-Mile...

There was a monkey playing the drums...

And a human playing the guitar and singing :-)
Ingo gave him some money, 2 €, I guess. He nodded a thanks. Guess not many gave him some? He did a good job, so why not honor it?
Ten times better than those Punks near Karstadt who do nothing but threaten you... When I´m alone I even avoid that place altogether...
So. This was a refreshing change.

We had Volkswagen-Currywurst with Mumme:

Hmmm, that was yum!

There were carousels, too, a little girl on a pink Moped:

Wee....

Looks like the kids have fun.
I stood there, remembering how much afraid I was back than on such a carousel.
Yeah, that´s typical for me. I was afraid, what else?!
Kids I didn´t know and my parents out of sight!
Ingo thinks, though, that the carousels back then indeed were bigger. Because we went to the Schützenfest, they are bigger there.

Maybe I also was afraid because earlier on my Dad went to the Prater in Vienna with me. He sat me in a Swan that was "swimming" through a scene. A scene with witches and all. I was about 4-5, couldn´t swim yet and didn´t know how deep the water was. And I couldn´t see my parents. Drama! Those stupid witches were no issue, I knew they weren´t real. But the water???
When "my" swan came back to where my parents could see me, my Dad jumped in to pick his crying child up!
When he´d reached me, I had seen it wasn´t even knee-deep and I got angry cause he didn´t tell me! Otherwise I could´ve enjoyed the ride.

Weird what kind of memories come back at times, huh?

Let´s not think of the "ton" they put me in, alone. I could hardly watch out, cause it wasn´t made for small children. And sure as hell I broke a tooth.
Or that turning "ton" on the parcours.... not for small kids, either. Other adults took care of me...
I understand that parents are people, too. And I went out ok from there.
Just... buhaaaa. I hate Prater, Schützenfest and Co for a reason, huh?

I prefer the sight of our Henry, the Lion:

Want a closer look? Here you are:

One good thing about autumn... the leaves fall down... and I can see our red Squirrel again, he or she is still around! Need to offer the squirrel some food, to see him/her more often. Need to give a name, too. To avoid he/she.

Any ideas, someone? Please let me know!

Haha, remember that stupid dog living opposite Ingo´s Grandma.
One day I was waiting outside for my Mum (I lived at Ingo´s Grandma´s place, too) and the woman came out - in a village - and shoutet "Taxi!!!! Taxi!!!"
I thought she´d gone crazy. And then the stupid dog named Taxi obeyed her yells.

Why can I blog at 11:00 am on a Monday?
I woke up at 1:11 am, in pain. Hello Migraine, haven´t seen you for a while!
Then at 3:something. And when Ingo got up it was still with me.
I stayed in bed, got a good-bye-kiss 30 minutes later and tried to sleep.
At 08:03 I tried to reach the doc, unsuccessfully, and then in the same way my company. Hello!!!
Tried a bit later, signed sick. Reached the doc, too, they said they call me back.

And that´s it!!! I didn´t even need to see her! I can pick up the receipe tomorrow after work.
Oh. And the Migraine is gone, too!

How can it be so easy??? Or is it so easy cause I´m sick so seldom?
Anyhows. I´m all good again. And am home. The Advent-Calendar is nearly finished, too.

Home

2011-11-03T20:48:00.000+01:00

I hate it when posts disappear. This one did, so maybe you´ve seen this before, just skip it.

I want to keep this for me :-)

So, our HOMO finally became HOME after all.

And this new Cuban pic hides the ugly cutout switch board, too. The red car so fits to the red board and, well, we´ve been to Cuba, so… even if HOME above suggests Cuba is it, hey, my heart is a wee bit home there. The people there are poor but so alive. They live their music, it´s an amazing place.

You might get the impression we live at or in a train station.. a second old-fashioned clock is added:

And the ugly corner across is gone now, too:

And some holiday-feeling was added to our loo (the one most people ask if this is the guest-toilet. No. It´s the only one):

Ingo cleaned up a bit, found this and gave it to me:

It´s an original cover for the left cap of our Moped´s tank.

He gave it to me cause a funny story is involved.

The moped was built in 1978, the year Harley Davidson switched from advance- to retarded ignition or the other way round. The ignition always was a problem.

Ingo got the Moped from the United States in separate parts and reassembled her by himself.

The manual was out again due to the ignition.

As it sometimes is… when you´re too much involved in a problem you might not be able to see it.
Ingo, graduated Engineer, and his friend, car mechanic, were trying to find the problem.

I came in, looked at the blueprint, then had a closer look at the Moped and said, well, guess it´s …
I wasn´t 100% right but brought them much closer to the solution.

Ingo was proud of me.

His friend, though… he´s that old-fashioned: His wife has a driver´s licence but cannot drive. So he drives her everywhere. When being at the grocery he waits in the car!!! Like those old, fat guys. A woman´s place is the kitchen in his eyes.

So… he knows I´m a graduated Engineer, too, but suppose he neglected that fact.

It was the most funniest thing for me for a while to banter him about it, like, hey, wasn´t that difficult to find out with the Moped, huh?!

Until Ingo asked me to stop cause that guy got really mad.

A woman!!! Ha.

And Ingo said back then, she´s ours now. And now I have one piece of her here :-)

A Kind Of Holiday IV

2011-11-01T20:07:00.005+01:00

On to the last part of our little "family-holiday"...

The last day we practically did nothing. Which is hard for me. Bro and Mum are calm people, me… not so much.

The whole morning they had the “Tour d’ Allee” – a family bike-race. The speaker was right in front our window… That poor man… he tried to be so enthousiastic… but there were few people watching, not motivated ones either. Was quite like in the Simpsons-Episode with Kent Brokman and a Mexican commentator, ya know that one? The scene was like Kent would´ve described it, but the man outside must´ve been a Mexican ;-)

We went to visit the sea again.

Another funny.. the other day, Bro stopped in disbelief, watched at the sign of the fish-seller and said Raucherfisch?! (a fish that smokes). Nah. It says Räucherfish, smoked fish, d´uh, Bro! Here they all are:

When you go past the restaurants you may be confronted with a view like this:

And some time later it´ll look like this:

It´s the Tauch Gondel. Fun idea. I didn´t go, though, have seen enough underwater-views ten times better and this one can hold 30 people, too much for my taste, I´m no Sardine ;-)

The weather was great! Near to no wind and the full sun, so we waited for a seat to eat outside. Some guy from Hamburg offered us his table, very nice (guess Hamburg accent is just unique, funny, huh?) – so.. here we were for a .. tadaaa: Pizza!

Even Mum tried a slice. And both gobbled up some ice-cream afterwards (I don´t like sweet things):

On the way back in afternoon-light:

This time I took the stairs, looks like quite a deal, huh?

Was super-easy! Nice idea anyhows: benches:

Can imagine in summer they are used a lot.

Dinner was Bratkartoffeln, hmmm, Bro makes the best! (You call those Home fries?! Nah... Bratkartoffeln really is different!)

Ingo sadly can´t eat them anymore and I´d never make some just for myself, so this was a real treat!

After that we played Canaster. Since about 2-3 years this has become a “Christmas-Tradition”, means: I play that once a year.

So… esp since last Christmas we did not spend together, Bro had to explain it all over again – but he doesn´t mind at all!

We played till 2:30 am or something. And we shook hands we´ll do it more often for as long as our Mum can.

Up early on Sunday cause I had to leave to go home. Whilst the others were still asleep (as every morning), I went to get breadrolls and payed a last, sad visit to the sea:

I´m really so glad we were able to do this!

They wanted me to stay, but I couldn´t. I´ve had 4 weeks off this year already, with this nearly 5 and my colleague is on holiday, too.

They drove me to Stralsund from where I took the train to Berlin and then back home.

I said “see you soon, Mum”. She looked me in the eye, kinda sad and answered “yes, maybe….”

Cancer, I hate you.

None-the-less… I think I can come back to Sellin with good (but sad) feelings one day. It´s really a beautiful place.

A Kind Of Holiday III

2011-10-27T19:58:00.000+02:00

Learning via phone how bad Mum is doing... she can hardly breathe and is in a lot of pain... I remembered I hadn´t finished the "documentary" of our ... "holiday".

It was a mixture of... the try to give her memories for if/when she cannot leave the bed anymore. And to help us, Bro and me, too... to understand. So here goes from part II to the next:

The following day we had another looong breakfast. It´s very hard for my Mum to eat. Actually she said she is in despair about not being able to eat properly. So are we...

We took it easy and went to Binz by car. By golly. 1,50 €/h parking fee! And it´s off-season, too!

The promenade wasn´t as nice as expected, but the waves were beautiful.

We went into a restaurant for lunch and it was just the weirdest thing! The night before we had watched “Alice in Wonderland” and that restaurant was full of canvas of the Red Queen!

Sometimes I think I´m maybe Alice and can just pinch myself awake?

Ahhhhh, those waves, huh? (This is not the Baltic Sea)

Another seagull:

And here they have roofed wicker beach chairs also off season:

We went on to another not so nice chapter of German history. Any idea what this might be?

This was supposed to be a holiday-camp, called Prora. Buildings like these stretch for 5 km right near the beach. You can see the beach actually through here:

In the 1930s KDF aka Kraft durch Freude, Strength Through Joy planned to send groups of 20 000 people at once each for 10 days. The project was never finished, WW II came instead.

Yikes. Could you imagine spending your holidays here, packed like that?

Not far from there you have another view:

Sorry, I just so love the ocean, I can´t get enough of it! This could pass through as “art”, no?

Bro finally managed to bring binoculars – I thought, now what it this?!

Yep. Made in West Germany…

Another seagull…

That´s it for now, one last part is still due...

A Weekend Résumé

2011-10-24T21:37:00.001+02:00

Saturday we got up rather early, and my… it was funny! Seemed like the city was still asleep!

So we decided to roam the shops a bit (even IKEA! On a Saturday!!! Pics are to come). In Dänisches Bettenlager I took this pic:

Simpsons-fans everywhere ;-) Sadly the items were really damaged, but I found new ones on a different rack. It wasn´t marked which was inside, LOVE or HOME – we wanted HOME and Ingo opened it up to find an “H” and an “O” – is the right thing, hence, huh?

Nope…

Hope Ingo get´s an “E” today! ;-)

The weather was still beautiful, guess the guys in here had an excellent view:

Saw the double-decker all weekend long and found it in the news today, too. It´s called the Red Baron and is the biggest double-decker in the world, impressive, huh? Ingo said, we haven´t been to the airport in a while. Yeah, we really should´ve gone! The article says all weekend long you could be a passenger and others have their planes on display, too.

This really is so darn typical for Braunschweig - afterwards you find in the newspaper what has been up. People, why not let us know before?!

Ingo cooked like a pirate on SAT, hmmm, was yum and there is still left-overs:

Yes - new Braunschweig-Shirt!

Always funny, btw, to find your name on the bread-bag written by the bakery-staff:

Sunday we slept in and after a late brekkie wanted to go for a little tour. The moment Ingo came out with his bike our neighbour arrived. He´d driven his motorbikes into a garage for winter. We stood outside chatting for an hour, and learned that the family above us and below him is moving away. Oh, yay. He said he hears the darn Basketball as loud as I and doesn´t talk to that family anymore. Aw, well, they´ll be gone soon!

Finally off we went:

And saw that what the neighbour did was the right thing – man, it was c.o.l.d!!!

Cold but beautiful:

None the less…. I brought my bike into the cellar, too, season is over :-(

Guess I´ll have to carry up the winter-tires, soon, too.

Well. So much for a nice weekend, hope yours was great as well (and a bit warmer, too).

A Kind Of Holiday II

2011-10-19T20:41:00.001+02:00

After our "adventures" of the first day we didn´t do much, though guess for our Mum it was more than much.

It´s hard to try and step in her shoes, imagine how exhausting life might be when you can hardly breathe and are in pain.

We just wandered on the main Street of Sellin, had a closer look at all the beautiful houses like this one:

Most of them have their history in form of a sign in front (sorry it´s blurry. It was cccold!):

We stopped in a little café/bar called Zweistein´s with a sign reading e=mc² and jep:

Einstein was sitting here once, too, enjoying a cuppa.

We went on the “Jetty” again, love this old safety buoy:

And since the days sadly get shorter again… here´s a darker view back to the “country”, still beautiful, no?

Seagulls… as much as you might hate them when trying to catch fish… I love their sight:

Next day we went on a boat trip. My... it.sure.was.cold! Sunny, but darn cold with icy winds.

Still we tried to have fun:

Our first short stop was Binz, to pick up more passengers, ahhh, what a sight:

Then we went to see those famous “Chalk Cliffs”. Aw, well. I wasn´t too impressed:

This day was nearly too much for our Mum. The boat-trip took 4 hours and with that cold wind it felt like forever. You could also sit inside, but we stayed outside most of the time, the sun was too inviting. And if you have the right clothes on… right?

The sea was quite wild (for the Baltic Sea), but there was only one person in need of a barf bag and no, Bro was fine (as a kid he spent the entire trip to Helgoland in the middle of the vessel, puking. He still gets teased about it, mainly by me). Hehe...

More to come.

A Kind Of Holiday I

2011-10-18T21:04:00.004+02:00

So, I´m back from that short holiday on Island Rügen.

Our apartment was right next to the sea, it´s name was "Findling" (Glacial erratic) which also means it has the word "found" in it in German, that kinda fit.

We stayed in Ostseebad / Seaside resort Sellin, a nice little place with beautiful houses in the typical style of around the 1920's Bäderarchitektur

After the Wall fell they renovated these beautiful houses.

Still it seems there is a West- and an East-Germany after all. We took the route via Hamburg and got hungry on the way. Hamburg-area is busy, so we thought we wait. Finally a sign that here once was the inner-German border.

The highway suddenly was of a darker material… hello? The Wall fell in 1989!

We drove on…. Finally a rest-area. But… just a place to stop. No Mc D, nothing at all. Next one… had a toilet. Next one nothing… on and on we went until finally we decided to leave the highway and try to find something in the next town. Which was nearby and had a Mc D.

Weird.

Later colleagues from "East Germany" explained to me the route was built new back then, following the towns, hence no restaurants on rest-areas. Weird, weird… you have to tell us Wessis, how are we supposed to know? ;-)

I really wonder when there will be one Germany again. Difficult, if the Wall/two countries are not only still in our heads but that obviously really there!

Anyhows… finally we saw the Sea and took the bridge to the Island. How I missed the sea!!!

Mum wasn´t well at all, but we managed to buy cheese, eggs and stuff and went to see our new home. And then couldn´t wait to see the real thing!

Just a few steps and this is what we found:

Wow, huh?! An old "Strandbrücke", a "beach-bridge" - with restaurants! There are only few with restaurants, so this is very special.

Cancer is a mean, mean thing. But my Mum looks kinda content here, no?

Luckily there was a free lift, so we had no problem heading down:

Nice painting at the “station”:

Here we are, trying to have a “good time” together:

I´m so very glad Bro did make this happen.

When I learned my Dad will die after all of that darn Cancer, Bro gave me his car so I can visit every second day.

When I arrived the first time in hospital Göttingen, my Father hardly recognized me, he was full of morphine already and practically was all the time.

There were moments, like when we were outside and Bro was walking at his side. The way was downhill and suddenly Dad realized in a clear moment that if Bro walks by his side it must be me holding the wheelchair and he got scared (we also had a lung ventilator with us which was quite heavy).

Those were silent, sad and also rather lonely times with him.

When he finally was on his way home (in an ambulance), I went to buy some special cup for him and when I arrived… he had passed away already. He just wanted to get home. And that´s what he managed.

With Mum… she gets pain-killers and still is in a lot of pain. Another parent in the wheelchair, it´s awful. But it offers us the opportunity to roam around with her and even find a Pavillion named after us ;-)

What really made me mad…

When I see people in wheelchairs… well. Then I see someone in a wheelchair. Sometimes it makes me sad.

But I never stare at them. People – and not only kids (!) stared at my Mum. Even when you could not see the part of her head that is bald now.

She is so brave. She just doesn´t care to wear a hat or something. As if to say, yeah, have a look – I fight!

We talked, we laughed… it felt like a fake at times, but still it was genuine in it´s own way.

More to come...

Off To The East

2011-10-10T23:09:00.001+02:00

So. Mum, Bro and me are off to East-Germany. To the island Rügen.

I´ll take the said chicken with me. And a can. And a bottle of local beer. Warm clothes. Books. Phone. Dörte, my microwave sheep to keep me warm.

Ingo is better. Not good yet, I hate to leave him.so.much.

Guess he still loves me after all?
The guy to look at and plan our bathroom was there. He was nice, a very, very positive thinking man Ingo´s age. So calm. Sometimes I wished Ingo was a bit more calm.

Can´t believe I won´t see Ingo before Sunday.
I look so much forward to being at the sea - it´s been so darn long. I miss the waves, the sound, the scent. Bro, and Mum, too.
Chances are high we fight, though, maybe?

Can you believe this is still "East-Germany" to me, "DDR"? It is and maybe always will be. I have friends who grew up in DDR and who tell me about it. It was another world. Now I will go there for a third time.

I wish the circumstances would be better.
But then again... do you take the time with your sibling and your Mum as a mature person to go on holidays without your partner/family?
I kinda await what the outcome might be?

Talks about our Dad? Later, without Mum, talks about our not-always-nice childhood? Or will we fight? Or hug and cry? Or just be calm and content with what we´ve got right now?
Bro and me are so darn different. I´m like my Dad, he´s like our Mum.
I loose temper quickliy, he ... oh - gah! The calmest person.on.earth.
He is a goldsmith (amongst other) and makes a ring for me. Since years.

I so look forward to the sea. The waves. The water. The cold even. The wind.
It refreshes your soul.

I live in fear Ingo might fall sick while I´m away.
But then again... he is a grown man. He has his Bro´s phone number, who is a very good Doc.

Sickness... go away, leave my life, let health reign!
I never thought I´d be confronted with this so "early". Dad an all. OK.

But Spouse??!!

I´d give everything to keep him.

I loose my mind about it.

And... tell ya what.. see last post.. the glass of that stupid door popped out big. It was so much under pressure... boy. This is not an excuse for me. I´m still so mad about myself.

Won´t have internet access from there.
Will call Spouse every day (except Thursday, I got it, Ingo!).

Mum knows there is nothing to be done.
Any tipps how to help her?

Last Warrior

2011-10-08T18:04:00.000+02:00

You know how it is?
You put your sad, stupid thoughts down... and then Blogger fails and all is gone.

You still feel sad, mad and not like blogging anymore.
But friends/family are either sick or having fun. You don´t wanna "disturb" anyone.

The rain (pic above) is gone by now.
I still clench my teeth and this post is a lot different to the one I started.

What still is the same:
Ingo is again sick - and mad.
Mum: Mum... Ingo cannot understand...

Well... Tue we go on a (last?) holiday. Bro, Mum and me.
That happened when I was 12 the last time.
She understood this is special... cause she has no chance. For living. Ya know?
Ingo? Who knows?

I am healthy.
Like a horse, we say.
And all around me are sick.
Also Bro, SIL and Wee One (due to Pre-Kindy).

This morning all was still good.
We try to be good people.
I bought a chicken that roamed around free in it´s (still too short) life and payed 15 bucks (€) instead of 3 (!!! weird, huh?!).
Well. Ingo bought a new hotplate a time ago and along with that the whole kitchen-stuff (sink) needed a renewal.

He wanted me to do it (me!!) and got sick inbetween - fighting included - guys, ya know how it is, huh?

No chicken - can throw it away, I guess.
Haaa, why I don´t do it???
Tell me how?
This was a real chicken. With entrails and all. And even without...in my family the men are doing the cooking-stuff, I just don´t know what to do (@ Mandi, if you read along... the pie has to wait, I take receipe and forms to Rügen, maybe we get a chance there)

Ingo made me real mad - but this really was an accident! The pre-owners Daughter damaged all doors but hers and her Parent´s bedrooms....

I only threw my purse away backwards (in anger, I admit!!!) - this is what happened!! (Didn´t realise the door was wide open!)

Suppose the door was close to falling apart anyways, what do you think? This is what we bought:

I am angry at myself that now it´s worse - but... is it really my fault? Dunno. Doesn´t matter anyways.

I didn´t blog the whole time cause, well.
My life is like ### anyways.

I have a great life, ya know???

I love my job.
I love my partner (but does he still love me?)
I am healthy (but all around me are so not)

It´s those two "but"s...

That´s why I didn´t blogged/posted... do I want to remember these times?

I feel like that stupid broken door (cliché), I feel like this so long.
In working life I managed to collect over 110 bucks for a good-bye-pressie for my colleague (!! - I asked what we wanna do with the money... near to no answers!).

In private life... I feel lost for quite a while, not good enough.

But how could Spouse help me anyways? When he´s in pain all the time. Guess he is.

Yeah. See title.
And those can get weak and tiny and useless like me.

I don´t even know if Spouse still "loves" me anymore. I´m not sure if I should publish this.
But I guess.. well.. guess this is just for me anyways. Who´d like to read the stupid thoughts of mine?!

Another weekend blown away with Spouse on his couch and me alone in the bed. Then tomorrow... who knows. Hospital, not talking? I have not much power left.
But no one thinks of stupid me.

Oh! Aw, no. I really hate that Bro thinks it´s normal I get those 4 days off.
He is his own Boss (and probably loosing everything), I´m just an employee... I had 5 weeks off already this year (or more? Due to Mum) and these 4 days are it. Say thanks? Huh?

Well. Long story short... I have to be strong (for others, but who is there for me?)

Care For A Pie?

2011-09-28T22:24:00.004+02:00

My dear friend Mandi knows we have no Pies available here in Germany - it´s.such.a.pity, I tell ya!!!

You´re in town and run a wee bit hungry?
Problem!!!
You can get a piece of Pizza - so large, it´s a whole meal (to me at least).
You can get - hey, we´re Germans, right? - a sausage in a breadroll (I come to that later - it´s totally different to a Hot Dog).
You can get Chinese Food - too much for a snack...
French Fries are ok, but hey... all the time? Burger King... too large, Big M .. boring...

It´s just not a Pie, ya know???

A hot, yummy Pie you can pick up anywhere, oh how I miss that, seriously!!!
It´s a bigger snack, but still a snack somehow, no?

(Wish Mexican Snacks were available, too!)

Anyhows. Mandi probably remembered when Ingo and I tried to make our own Pies, making the "dishes" out of ashtrays? Yeah, yummy idea, huh?

For one reason or both...

She saw receipes of/for Pies in her super food ideas-magazine and went to the store to pick one up for me (or/and Ingo), too - and, wisely, payed a visit to Coles, too, to get us some proper Pie-dishes - thank you so much, Mandi!!!

Mandi sent it by sea, which is the better and cheaper way to go - and guess what?! That German customs duty apartment sure - again/as always - needed to pick out "my" parcel for control.
So... it took the happily awaited parcel with to me unknown content (other than I´ll like it) from early July to end September to arrive!

@customs duty Germany... aren´t you bored opening parcels adressed to me?
They always lack drugs or such, always!

Anyhows, funny coincidence: Ingo´ll buy a new hob - we get a great chance to try it out!

Thanks to custom duty we can try out the "Christmas in July"-receipes soon, too (it´s getting cold) ;-)

What really cracked me up, though... the back of the magazine is covered with an ad from... Mc Donald´s!!!! Is that a joke? I laughed my head off :-)

If I can choose.. when I could choose I actually prefered The Fresh Food People above Coles. Except once:
I don´t remember that place´s name, it was somewhere in the Asherton Tablelands .

There was a very small Coles, but with a bakery section.
The baker was from France/had French roots maybe - they offered "Petit Pain" with Pain being Bread (!) and they were like German Brötchen - you cannot even compare it to a breadroll.
We stayed another night just to get Brötchen once again.

Hmmm... thanks, Mandi, for thinking of us and sending it over, too!
Can´t wait to try it out!

Addendum: On the packing it reads: "coles smart buy - why pay more for everyday basics?"
everyday basics... basics! Wake up, German Food Industry - I want Pie as a basic stuff!

From Dogs And Cows

2011-09-26T20:37:00.004+02:00

I have difficulties to find a title for this post.

Sat we went to our old home. We went there early - Ingo had to get the Moped running, Thursday she´ll be at the TÜV.

I went to SIL for the time being.
Who was sick again, caughing a lot. So I played with my Niece.
I think she recognized me.

This is her in the pic above - with her new dog - isn´t that a crazy dog???? One eye crossed out the other a button, very cool, I think :-)

After a while playing she crawled over, looked me in the eye rather seriously.
Then took her little hand and grabbed my knee.
I thought she wants to stand up (which she is pretty good at - guess next time we meet she´s maybe walking all by herself).
No, she didn´t stand up.
She squeezed my knee a little and gave me a reassuring smile, like: "We´re friends now, huh?"

It was the cutest thing.
And there is more to come by the and of this post (let´s just replay that great day step by step).

Moped is running, here´s a little proof:

We went for a mini-tour, too - but it wasn´t warm enough, the wind was nasty.
So, we went to Ingo´s parent´s house.
They weren´t there, sadly.

Here´s a pic of their cool kitchen:

Yep, 70´s style, all original, I love it.

Fun detail:

To answer the door!

This is outside - pretty, I think:

Their new swing - amazing! If I had the place for it... I´d buy one, too.

We then went for a walk to "kill" time, it was beautiful - and so "rich" - here Ingo is trying (and succeeding) to get an apple with an old apple from the ground:

Hit an apple, get an apple, easy like that.
It wasn´t really ripe yet, though...

It was such a sunny, bright day - my little cam couldn´t take all the light!

The colors were just awesome:

It´s so peaceful "in the country":

We heard some bells, when walking here - and thought there were kids playing, maybe.
Nope, no kids:

Here´s a cow with white eye-lashes!

And this one´s got a heart for an eye:

Farming is rather weird these days - everybody is producing corn:

Well, it´s for animals and to produce power - not tasty at all.

These were yummy, though:

You could survive outside atm!
But a pizza is a better way, though - or the yummy food at my Mum´s Birthday - it was delicious!

No pics though, dunno my cam isn´t working properly with flash atm :-(

Mum herself... I have no idea. She´s very weak, can hardly breathe. She didn´t eat that much. She has but one chance and she gets it only if she manages to gain weight. Niece ate twice as much as her.

Two siblings of my Mum, friends and us family made some 12 people.

I was sitting at the other end of the table, so I guess Niece couldn´t see me.

She certainly entertained everybody, it was the funniest thing!

Bro said she´s happy and friendly to strangers. But, in this she´s like me: She doesn´t like to be touched by strangers.

Remember that knee-scene?
When we left, she was about to get changed, so the three of us, SIL with her in front and I, stood by the door.
I waved and she understands that means good-bye (I think she understands).

She gave me a smile, kicked her Mum so she could get out of her arms and hugged me!

I smiled the whole way back home.
What a cutie!

Today my Boss showed up in my office.
Oh, my.
He really wanted to be nice, but it was nearly too much for me. How I am and that he´d like to hug me if that helped. Told me about his MIL and made suggestions that really might help my Mum and Bro, I passed the info already.
All very well meant, but I had trouble to hold my breath, to not start crying.

He knows about Ingo, too - I told him some weeks ago via E-Mail why I didn´t attend the company-meeting unexcused (dinner included).
I could tell him that today Ingo is "celebrating" another birthday, what a relief, no? (Happy Birthday, btw...)

Life is weird.
With death and sickness being so close to fun and learning new stuff (Niece).

Addendum: I´m kinda proud of myself - maybe you agree that´s ok?
I squeezed my Polo between those two in first and only attempt:

I beat my Father´s genes once again, haha! ;-)
(What´s wrong with my cam, huh??? What a bad pic!)

Life Is Back

2011-09-20T21:17:00.002+02:00

...and Henry, too - everybody is happy about that - see the man to the right? He (, too) had to take a pic of Henry - in August/September they use the place to play open-air-opera and hence, Henry is out of sight.

Friday Ingo had a "little surgery" and by the time The Simpsons were on he was back home!!!
Thanks to his parents who stayed near Hamburg just for this case... to pick him up and bring him home to me asap.

Sat we went to the city.
Cause, well...

Who could resist this weather?
Life - Ingo back home, healthy (another check-up due Thur-Fri). Good chances my Mum will be able to fight cancer once more. And sunshine, green gras...

Even the bikes are huge at this time of the year:

Notice the T-Shirt Ingo is wearing? He changed later on to another great city...
Ok. Just a sign for Fahrradstrasse. It´s kinda new still, on certain roads (push-bike-) cyclists rule, yay :-)

Ingo´s watch was broken, so he needed a new one as back-up-clock in the mornings. He choose grey. I couldn´t resist this cheapy in green. Those colors together is my eye-color, funny, huh?

I was still waiting for a (payed) T-Shirt to arrive for me, so we went into the little Braunschweig-Shop. T-Shirt was there, Ingo found one, too and was so generous to buy me a jumper for the colder days (my very first Fruit of the Loom-stuff).

Sorry for looking so stupid. Can´t help it. As soon as a cam is directed at me...

I really don´t like jumpers with the actual city-name divided in the middle by a zipper.
It makes it read "Braun | schweig" - "brown | shut up". being German in Germany... not a good idea unless you´re brave and in a safe bunch of guys - my two cents worth...
THIS one is great, no? Lion | City - yay :-)

And here´s the T-Shirt:

Ingo got this one also (they usually have em in men´s style only, that´s why I had to wait for mine. Not that more expensive to have them printed on women´s style-shirts I found out):

"Styled" like this we went to:

... our favorite Steak-House, El Gaucho.

Guess one just longs after something special, something good after such a bad time with death being so near.
Ingo said, huh - you managed but two posts while I was gone?

Yes. I just didn´t feel like it.
I was sad, scared and life wasn´t fun at all.

Despite this:

Life is great again.
Brr... we´re not even into October and it´s cccc...old! :-(

But... Ingo is back, so I can live with this.

Daddy-Day With Mum

2011-09-14T21:12:00.005+02:00

I still got the jester's license to be there for my Mum.
So today I left work at lunch-time and went to Bro´s place and then, since Weds are Daddy-Days, the three of us went to our Mum.

She´s weak and tired, but seems "ok" otherwise. Three more radiation-treatments and then they have a "final" meeting where they tell her what´s next.
She seemed afraid. Hope Bro can go with her. (I can´t since it´s in the morning).

Well, Niece likes to clean out her Grandma´s shelf, as you can see in the pic above - that girl was busy!
Here she looks like, "hey! I gotta stuff to do!", no? ;-)

But then she decided a nice smile for the cam would be ok :-)

Later on we went back to Bro´s place cause
a) my car was still there and more important
b) he wanted to show me something, an achievement a certain little someone could call her own:

Well.. nearly on her own.
This is why I look so red in da face on this pic:

Running... ok walking and steering that "bike" back and forth was exhausting a bit!

That little girl made our day.
She´s so brave! Drooling like crazy and in pain due to new teeth coming, but fun to be around none-the-less. No crying at all.

Ingo... still in hospital Hamburg Altona, waiting for progress.
He´s pain-free, stats are good, only cycst is still a problem.

And his "neighbor"... - went from ok (two older men, calm and normal) to changing rooms to do someone a favor (toilet in his old room was integrated).
Went into a double-room only but with a guy... the scruffy-type, having a smoke every ten minutes (outside, but room stinking bad anyways), watching TV till 2 am (!!!). That guy left (was thrown out?) and in came a raggle-taggle-ole guy who is complaining all the time, even worse.

His parents went to the North Sea to be near when he can come home.
So glad they care and do!

Hope Ingo will be home soon, also for his work-project - and for my sake.
And Mum... no idea what they reveal on Friday...

Today was exhausting, tough day at work (IAA) and then such a very windy ride in the car, construction sites, traffic jam. But... I´m glad I went.
Can´t believe I might loose my Mum soon, she seems so normal. A last rear-up might be the cause...

Addendum! Ingo´s Bro called me - maybe not all is lost with my Mum.
I asked him to call my Bro cause he is more up to date.
Oh.my.
Something with Ingo´s Bro´s heart isn´t well.
He said he doesn´t want to talk about it in detail but is in peace with himself.
By golly. He´s got a wife and four kids... I respected his words, but now I worry about him, too.

A Sunday Afternoon

2011-09-11T18:26:00.003+02:00

Sunday, already.

Thanks everyone for stopping by and helping me!
You made me stronger, you made me smile when life was sucking at me.

And I guess it worked on Ingo and my Mum, too!

Ingo: The darn thing in his body was over 12 cm long!
They cannot operate, but punctured it quite successfully - we hope.

Mum... if she manages to gain weight, she can come back for chemo!

The pic above...
Well. Good as I am (...) I went to give my vote. For what´s or who´s leading my town.
Kinda weird to do this on this kinda special day, huh?

Good as I am... I brought in the Sunday paper in on my way back (it´s free) - and what did I find?
Yep!
Toooo-daaaay a new DVD was released: "Braunschweig - Die Löwenstadt" - city of the Lion ("die" is for "she", a city in German is female, don´t ask and no, we won´t die, Braunschweig really is strong).

So... I went to the city and amongst some stuff I had to treat myself with real "Pommes Frites", that´s the pic above.

Whilst eating I strolled by Graff, which is a great book-store, always new books on display outside for us eating, munching people.
And it works, too!

"Essen kommen" - what a cool book is that?!
Ingo is the Chef in da house, but, oh, well!

"At one we gonna eat" - this was so dang true!
My parents both were working full time and at 01:0...5 or 13:05 we ate. Always.

Memories... isn´t this book too cute?

"Pril"-Flowes, awww...

Receipes and memories, a great book:

This is my loot of the day:

All for Ingo, right? For the Braunschweig-DVD!

Two of the things made it to my desk:

What a day...
A rare Sunday with the Shops open - a very rare day with the temps over 30C!

I have to remember how the hot air was on my arms and legs. Hmmmm... no freezing.
So missed Ingo, though.

My bike...

I miss riding it...

Here´s a pic of my brekkie:

And the shadows the sun created in my kitchen:

And what did I find on the balcony?
The only sunflower Ingo wanted to throw away cause she was broken... I kept her - and she really is the only one who is blooming! No kidding!

The other ones will make it eventually, too - but she is the first!

Hard To Say Good Bye

2011-09-07T21:09:00.003+02:00

I will have to say Good-Bye to Ingo tonight.
Drive to work at 5:30 tomorrow.
At 08:00 his parents pick him up, bring him to his doc and then to Hamburg to a special clinic, some 200 km away in real bad traffic.

Whilst I´m typing I hear him suffer.
If he heard me cry, he´d get upset, so I keep quiet.

After work I´ll drive to Hannover to visit my Mum in hospital, then drive to an empty home.
Friends offered help.
But... it´s all too much.

Suddenly it´s really, really emergency-like. People tell me, nah, don´t worry, his weight is much better than back then and all.
I asked Ingo a hundred times to write down his last will.
Like I did, years ago, being totally healthy.

Each day we´re both on the highway...
He never did. He/his family own 70% of this apartment - we´re not married, but spouses for over 16 years... that might become a problem.
Tonight he asked to make a copy so he can write his last will down. He was too much in pain, though. Thanks for adding that kind of fear to my fear about your life, our life.

I will say Good-Bye.
I cannot hug Ingo, he´s too much in pain.
I´m in a different kind of pain.

I so-so-so hope people are right.
I so-so-so hope I can find ourselves together joking on a playground like in that pic above again soon.
And hug.
Be happy.
I feel so darn helpless.

Oh, dang. His Mum yahooed his Bro (doc) needs our number. How am I not to cry on the phone?!

Dang!
His Bro was so helpful! Explained as much as he could (data hasn´t arrived yet) - maybe it´s not that bad after all.
Dunno. He always talks to me as if we knew each other well.
He´s some months younger than me, we went to different groups in (the same) kindergarten, to diffenrent classes in school, yet... maybe he sees me as family?

I said Ingo can´t talk much, but he can tell him what he thinks is worth it and handed over.
After that he was... kinda deeply moved.
I said it´s said we only meet on health-issues, to which he only kinda grunted.
Maybe some kind of change is in the air?

Oh. He´s also very, very clear about some behaviour concerning waiting too long with some things (like visits to the doc) - I´m so with him!
Was good to talk to him.
Is - as weird as that sounds - never like talking to a stranger.
Last time we talked was in 2008!

I feel better now.
Still afraid, though.

On A Lighter Note/Health Update

2011-09-06T18:23:00.003+02:00

Could you resist this cute face?
(We´ll buy a cute picture frame for him soon)

Miele had a campaign years ago with this baer advertising for their washing machines.
The slogan goes: "We bet you won´t ever give him away - otherwise you get your money back".

And guess what Ingo/the staff got from his boss back then for Christmas?

Guess ours is the only one still around.
Here he sits, our Mielebaer... on our new Miele-Washing Machine! Because...

" 'Only Miele, Miele' said the aunt, who knew all the washing-machines "

My cheap one was still ok, silent, too - but took forever and ever and you never knew how long it´ll take. With a wooden floor (except kitchen/bathroom) you don´t go away whilst it´s running.
I gave it to a student.

Can you believe this pic was taken not even two weeks ago?
When our lives were easy(er)-going, healthwise?

Ingo: Water in the lungs, pancreas seems to be ok - which is weird. His blood-quality is bad, and he is still in a lot of pain. He had an X-ray computed tomography today and hopefully tomorrow he´ll know more.
The data he´s got so far is also on the way to his Bro (doctor).

Mum... it´s all so different to how Cancer ate up my Dad.
She is absolutely clear mind-wise, she get´s no drugs (yet).
She had the second dose of radiation therapy today. A little tired, that´s all.
Breathing is still difficult, too.
We went to the cafeteria, slowly, had something to eat and drink, chatted... as if everything was fine.
Just... we do not fight the cause, just the symptoms. So... it´s just a matter of time, I suppose.

Still so unreal...

Sweet Idea

2011-09-05T19:55:00.002+02:00

Google gives honor to Freddie Mercury with a little Google-movie, featuring Freddie.

He´d turn 65 today.

"Don´t Stop Me Now"... Wisely chosen.
Wonder with what Freddie would´ve come up - so many new possibilities...

Only the Good die young, sadly true.

Happy Birthday, Freddie...

Sad Frustration

2011-09-03T16:17:00.001+02:00

This is exactly how I feel atm. I´m in a sandy desert in desperate need of water.

Not only is my Mum dying.
Ingo is very sick, too.

I was allowed to take 3 days off last week, Tue to Thur.
Monday we went into the city, despite the bad news concerning my Mum.

Tue then I went to Bro and Mum and when I came home... I found Ingo in pain on the sofa.
This was what I found every evening since then.
This happens from time to time, usually after a while Ingo gets better.

Not this time!
At first Ingo was optimistic - today was supposed to be (and is) a hot and sunny day.
He invited his parents over for the bike-tour we wanted to take this whole "summer".
Tonight he got up several times to take pain-killers and this morning he called his Mum to cancel the tour.
Oh, certainly... it´s the first weekend in September - time for the traditional Magnifest.

I am in fear for Ingo.
And I am so angry, too.
Went groceries-shopping, saw all the guys packing up their bikes, laughing, having fun.

Whilst I see my Mum dying and fear the future with Ingo.

Whilst Bro can come home to his wife and get some hugs to stay sane, I have no one to lean on to but the damn fear.

Let me tell you what just happened. Ingo got up.
"I had bought some stuff to make tea, where is that?"

I search the first place, find it in the second, bend down to get the water boiler and place it where I always do.

"Why do you put it here???!!! Put it over there, there is more space!!!"

Wonder where the strenghs came from to be that mad at me...

I get the heavy bowl to pestle the caraway - and I´m certainly not doing it well enough.

"Am I supposed to do the heavy work???! Aww, just.go.away!"

I wanna scream and run away, I feel so hurt!

As if I knew what pain is.

YES, I KNOW THAT! I had terrible pain in my arm for half a year, no one believed me and in the end they had to replace a part of my bone in my arm with a bit from the hip-bone. My arm-bone rotted away in me - that was pain.

I understand he is in pain.
But I am, too.

It.hurts. to see first your Father then your Mother being eaten up by Cancer.
It hurts to be left alone with that.

Life is not fair, again. I am tired, exhausted.
Really, can I runaway from it all?

The darn sand in that pic above is the sickness all around me. The water this man is looking for is a hug, some kind words I´m longing for.
Again, I feel left alone with my fear, with my hurting.
I don´t wish anyone anything bad - but... maybe things would be different if it wouldn´t only be me experienting sickness all around and being the "healthy" one in the middle.

Is There Hope?

2011-09-01T20:58:00.002+02:00

Today Mum wasn´t feeling well - weather had changed, she could hardly breathe.
For each meal she gets extra-calories - I found heaps of the stuff in her little fridge.

What can I say?
Chemotherapy isn´t possible due to her (lack of) weight, radiant exposure is all they can do anyway. They fight the symptoms, not the illness - start is on Monday.
The more calories she gets, the more cancer takes of her anyways.

We have very little hope.
At least we finished her apartment today.

Guess working together was a good therapy for Bro and me.
Seeing his family helped, too.
Little Niece made it all better. Today she learned what coffee is.
Bro the other day gave me coffee in a cup she always got warm milk in - she.wanted.that.cup. Again and again. Logically.
Today we had smaller cups, so she could smell the coffee - and immediately turned her head away in disgust - win!
Tomorrow, I´m off to work again.

On the way back today I run into a massive traffic jam.
I followed others on the illegally used emergency lane to the near exit, hoping there is no police yet (was 700 m), but on the rural road it wasn´t much better at first!

Lucky me, huh? See the blog´s title and the pic above - though this isn´t a Ten without Ham, I had had only half a Pizza for lunch and hence didn´t go hungry on the late way home :-)

Funny thing was - in the end I was as fast as via highway without traffic jam.
And each evening I found a parking space in our quarter!

Thanks to SIL´s new (used) Skoda, Bro detected: Also my Polo has cruise control - used it the first time yesterday. At first it was really, really freaky - but now I love it!

Well. Let´s see what the future brings.
I hope Mum can at least celebrate her 70´s Birthday on 19th this month and be aware of it.
Hope all her still living and healthier Siblings make it over.

That Ingo is sick doesn´t help.
I feel exhausted.

Cancer VS Fun

2011-08-31T21:30:00.001+02:00

It´s very important we get the house done for if our Mum can get home inbetween radiation therapy. It´s very important we are with her during the first meetups with her docs, too.

It´s also important we don´t loose our minds.
So we tried to spend some time with Bro´s Wife and Daughter, having a coffee before starting our "work".

Guess little Niece recognizes me now.
Yesterday we came to Bro´s home with Doner kebab and little Niece helped me a lot with mine (just the bread, certainly!).

This morning we were in a hurry due to traffic jam and doc´s app.
Bro insisted we go and buy Radish for "her" - we´d just said good-bye to Niece, so I was wondering and asking:

"Isn´t it too hot for her?"

Bro gave me a weird look. I kept my mouth shut (stress! Traffic jam ahead!) We bought radish.

I was refering to Niece and wondered why WE are supposed to buy radish, not her Mum. Take the radish to Hannover and back.
Bro meant our Mum, "certainly".

I left the radish in the car, hence...
The three of us - Mum, Bro and I - had a good laugh about this one.

Heck - talking to each other might help at times, huh? ;-)

Still can´t believe cancer is back - Mum acts so healthy...

A Sad Résumé

2011-08-31T21:04:00.001+02:00

Pic: 1995
My Dad died of Cancer before I started blogging, in 2002.

I don´t even know if it´s healthy to keep memories like these.
But I feel the need to.

Dad: We didn´t get along well, we were too much alike.
When Bro told me Dad´ll only have days or weeks and gave me his car so I can visit...

It was as if someone had a huge hammer letting fall down on my head, or rather: As if I was wrapped up in tons of cotton.
I didn´t hear well, I didn´t see well - go figure! I drove Braunschweig-Wolfsburg, 30 km, then Wolfsburg - Göttingen - 140 km and back to Braunschweig another 110 km every second day.
With little sight!
It was merely about two weeks.

He was on morphine from the beginning of my visits. Hardly knew what´s going on.
Sometimes giving me a smile - did he recognize me?
Sometimes definitively knowing it´s (weaker) me "driving"/leading his wheelchair downhill, looking in fear at me.
Thanks, Dad - we knew what we were doing.

I still feel like puking.

The funeral.
Ingo was guiding me, holding me.
A "man" standing at the end of that "road". Ingo said: "Hey - you must be M.! Hello!"

It was Cousin M.

I´d told Ingo about him - he never ever saw a pic of him - and M´d gotten so much older, visually - even I had difficulties to recognize him. Ingo did - just from what I´d told.
Weird.

Mum had picked mini-sunflowers that covered the coffin.
Bro was one of the guys carrying the coffin whilst I nearly fell down unconscious when walking to the grave.

And now... We have to go the same route again, only eight years after.

It´s all different though.
No feeling of being wrapped up in cotton - it´s all so darn clear. Me, and Mum.

For the time being she even seems to get better.
Breathing is easier for her, meds are working.

I got 3 days off, so I only go Braunschweig (not Wolfsburg, which would/will add another 70 km) - Seesen - Hannover (- today Seesen again) - Braunschweig.
We visit her every day, take care we join the meetups with docs and prepare everything for in case she can get home inbetween (a lot of work).

She´ll get no chemotherapy but they only try radiation therapy - with 37 kg only this is all they can do.
On Monday they start.
Head and back only - the tumor in her liver... it´s nearly 5 cm and there is nothing they can do.
4 times a week, 10 doses all in all.

I have high hopes atm - Bro is more realistic.
At least that darn cancer doesn´t squeeze her brain - as long as no morphine is involved, she´ll stay alert and herself.

He´s Back For Good

2011-08-28T15:31:00.004+02:00

Cancer. He´ll win again.
Crossword puzzles, my Mum does them to keep her mind fit.

About three weeks ago she mentioned a "swelling" on her head. I asked, did you fall?

Nope. Was Mr Cancer telling he´s back, we know now. Oh, he makes a visit to her liver, too.
And those puzzles? She found she had put in some really dumb stuff at times...

Ingo picked these flowers for her. He didn´t join me, he can´t see a hospitel from the inside anymore.
Ha. Can I???
I can, I have to. And it´s Hannover again. Ha. I recognised that place at once :-(

Mum managed to get down to 37 kg. She´s 1,54m or such.
Why?
Heck, who knows.
Guess she didn´t want to live for some years now.
Little Niece is her only joy, how sad is that. But she doesn´t care to live to see her on her first day of school or such.

With only skin an bones... docs can do nothing. They cannot operate.
I asked if they can give her calories intravenously - let´s see.
I have little hope.

Cancer takes my parents away.
Bro and I are alone soon. Can you imagine this?
I know... I´m nearly 40. But I still feel like a kid when it comes to my Mum.

We all met when my Grandma celebrated another Birthday. She had 7 kids, with 5 living in Germany, 2 in Switzerland.
When she died they met again. Then on Bro´s wedding. Maybe next time...
Well, we just lost contact. Sad...

This is what Ingo got for me - for free - he told the "flower-woman" his story of being nearly dead and that this one goes to hospital as well.

Mum takes it. Guess she won´t fight.

Cancer. I so do hate you.
You always win.

I Could Pedal Real Fast

2011-08-25T20:52:00.000+02:00

Ha - don´t I look like a professional bike-rider?
Bro made this Mamba for me (with my diopter) - it sits real tight so no wind can reach my eyes. I fought/fight with conjunctivitis again and again and it all started with driving the bike in ice-cold weather. Yeah, dumb-me, I know.

One (!) bike-tour so far this summer due to bad weather or Ingo being sick (the first one I´m like really angry about, the second makes me sad). Well. Here we go!

Fruits are ripe and we had some, right from the tree/bush!

Sure enough we crossed river Oker:

Here is my beloved, mostly abandoned bike...

And...

The Oker surrounds our town...

Beautiful, no?

My focus here is Ingo´s shadow - kinda arty, huh?

We come near town - idyllic, I think:

In town, aye, matey, wanna play?

It even comes with an anchor!

Here we stopped to have a refreshing beer (with strawberries on my side - dumb idea):

At Herman´s, a Café/Bar dedicated to Opa Herman, a cute idea:

Hope we get some more healthy and sunny days for bike-rides. If not: I hope for both being better next summer...

Cause... you know: I could pedal real fast with my Mamba!!

Deutschland for Beginners

2011-08-24T21:07:00.003+02:00

Pics taken in Wilhelmshaven in 2008...

I found another funny book about my country and it´s people.
It´s about a guy from Great Britain who feels Weltschmerz and goes to see a psychiatrist - who is from the United States and loves Germany (not enough to live there, though) and tells him to visit Germany to get healed.

It´s not really a novel, and it´s full of truths, mostly funny ones.
You gotta be able to laugh about yourself, no? :-)

So, maybe you wanna join me on a trip of the best of "My Adventurous Journey Into The Land Of Weltschmerz And Sauerkraut", here we go...

The psychiatrist aka Manny sends the author aka Ben to the Baltic Sea, to Kühlungsborn. Ben says it looks like a scene from the Truman Show. He is quite right, too.
He lives in a hotel and wants to get the best place at the beach the next morning.

Guess you know this ad for Carling Black Label?

He knew it´ll be just like that and got up extra early. To find... not a single soul - and no sunbeds either.

He saw his first roofed wicker beach chairs instead and heaps and heaps of them, too.
Heck, sure, what else?! Are they really typically German? I didn´t even know.

"My home is my castle" goes for the British Man... the Germans... aw, well ;-)

He was astonished, too, to see a German flag flying.
He says, flags of other countries he knew well from tourism-ads. You hardly see the German flag in London on ads measuring 5*10 metres - people might think the Third World War is on.
Well. First I had to laugh. But then. Kinda not. Do they have the Russian flag on there?

Boy. This brought me on to page 49... out of nearly 400.

I can understand if you find no interest in this.
I´ll keep the same title throughout: "D For Beginners II...", so you can easily skip it.
But I want this to keep for myself, so I can come back and tell Bro, Ingo, or whomever or to remind myself: Look, that´s how others see us!
Or, look, did you actually know this about "us".
It´s my blog after all, no?

And... I learn new stuff this way, too. Or am astonished about what others know about us.
I´m German, I accepted this ;-)

Ingo Goes Huuuiiiiii

2011-08-23T21:17:00.003+02:00

...or Merry Christmas

Do you know this episode of the Simpsons?

Well. Let me shortly picture it for you:
I have to do 5 special excercises every day to prevent my ankle from hurting. Legs have the same length, but my hip isn´t straight (no, I don´t roam around like Quasimodo - it´s just a tad, but enough to make it hurt).

Usually it´s the last thing I do in the morning before heading off to work.
On holidays? No routine!
So. I put the mat on the floor to not forget and told Ingo about it, mentioning it´s slippery, don´t step on it.

15 minutes later Ingo gets up, leaves the kitchen and secs later I hear that exact sound, Huuuiiii....!
Go, picture it - I laughed my head off (since I heard no "thump", luckily). We both laughed our heads off, it´s still funny.

Ya know - happened to me before, I stepped on that stupid mat and on the wood I drifted off real fast.
I made a silent "ugh!"

Ingo went "huuuiiiiii", just like Homer.

So funny.

Last Thursday was one of two perfect days in those three weeks of holiday (also due to Ingo finally feeling totally healthy).

First we visited the Botanical Garden.
We used to be there so often when I lived nearby...

Isn´t this just a romantic pic with the bench? Here´s the rest on FB.

After that Ingo suggested we go to the city.
I had on sun protection factor 50. Ingo: none. I thought it was not a good idea, hence.

But it sure was (bought the "Pizza" and bib, see last post. Next day was rainy - I wouldn´t have gone and wouldn´t have had such cool pressies for Niece´s first B-Day).

Well - tis is the season, huh?
Apples and pears are ripe - and right in front our living room window is a tree full of pears.
So... we wanted to buy an "Apple-Picker" (yes. You can use it on pears, too ;-)...)

We´d seen gardening-stuff in a certain shop in town and we went... to find only: This:

On August 18th.

Dunno. Can someone explain to me where the magic of Christmas is for kids these days?
Seems like the stuff comes in earlier every year.

Apple-Picker? We were too late.

Same crazy stuff going on in your place, too?
Am I old-fashioned when I don´t like it that way?

Guess Who´s Playing?

2011-08-21T19:48:00.001+02:00

Yep, "Uncle" Ingo :-)

Here is little Niece with her parents:

The new sandpit was a hit!

There was more to explore, a new (very cute) slide:

Grandpa is helping:

This... was not a hit (yet)!
Picking an apple with Daddy is much better...

What is this all about?
Right:

Little Niece turned one today!
It was too much for her, though... so many people, too many people!

I don´t even know what "I" gave her as presents (bought by her parents) - she didn´t unpack, she was too fussy.

One present I know, though, cause I brought it myself, see it on Ingo, the Baby-Model ;-)

Niece is a Lion by zodiac sign, we´re from Baunschweig aka Lion-City and hence this bib shows a lion at mealtime saying "predator-feeding" :-)

I wanted to bring her Mum some flowers - but my Mum had the same idea.
So I ended up bringing:

A "Pizza" - from gummy bear-land :-)

This sure was a hit - SIL looked at me like "are you kidding?!!! A Pizza?!"
But then loved it. For the idea, not the calories...

Certainly this made me longing for a:

Pizza Da Nico!

My Mum brought a Ten Without Ham and some greetings from Da Nico - they said, "oh, that´s for Braunschweig, huh?" Guess it´s not a Ten anymore even, but they know me :-)

Driving there was a pain, though (thanks, Ingo for doing that for me!) - a looong construction site.

8.5 km to go (for us, the site is much longer):

Then 6:

Now "only" 2:

A nice idea to make it a bit less bad...

Tomorrow it´s back to work. This "holiday" is over.
I love my job, but... awww.... it´ll be dark now in the morning. No more sleeping in, up at 04:50 it is.

Call Me Uncle Tootles

2011-08-17T22:16:00.006+02:00

Luckily I have been told about some really stupid ad-campaign.

A Friend was asked at the check-out at a certain grocery-chain: "You want a marble?"
He was like: "????" and was handed... a marble.

And he told me about this, luckily.

Since we moved, we don´t go there actually anymore.
Now, being on holidays, we did.

And bought stuff for over 20 Euros.
And I was asked... well.

Polite as I am (! Ye-hes! ;-)...) I´d agreed and assumed it´s a large, round chewimg gum, as from the old days, and probably tried to take a biiiig chew, breaking my teeth (I don´t read what´s on the cover, esp. if it looks like a paper wrapped around a chewing-gum- bowl, you know these, too?).

Boy, oh-boy. They´re certainly on FB here, so far I got two, they´re both blue.

When my friend first told me, I immediateldly thought of Hook, or, as you call it, The Lost Boys - and poor ole Tootles.

Loved to watch the movie, saw it first time with Spouse in Hildesheim in the very first "WG", Wohngemeinschaft, Roommate-stuff I/we (on every second weekend) were in...

Dear Tootles... Hope you got your marbles.
No. I know it! :-)

Off-topic: Bought the book to the movie at Second Hand-Shop "Dusty Jackets" in Darwin. One more memory to make "Hook" a great story.

To be frank... 1999 was the best year of my life (so far?), thanks to Ingo, thanks to my parents, who made it all possible.

We went to Perth, had the money and time to buy our dream-car and with this Nissan Patrol LWB we had the best times ever.
Heck.
Can you imagine how big you feel when being a "woman" with only 1,64m but driving a car like that?!

Me... after we sold him. Was like selling your house - your home. He was car, on rainy days the place where you eat, play cards in the evening and sleep. And a shield when taking a (solar-)shower.

To Europeans these cars are huge, they mean... freedom :-)

May I Ask?

2011-08-16T21:04:00.003+02:00

Despite this more than crap summer... this holiday was needed and I guess I´m refreshed a bit.
Having a hero as "husband" may help, too ;-)

I was taking out garbage and compost this evening when a woman stopped.
She lives in this house, too, I learned.

"Excuse me... do you live in the second apartment to the right? (yes) ...may I ask how old you are?", she was quite directly asking, telling me the preowner´s wife said a "quite young woman" will move in.
(Which is nonesense. We all gave our full names and birth-dates in the very first contract. But, well. She is not the brightest anyways...)

The question nearly kinda hurt. But, well. If you wanna live long, you gotta get old, right?
So. I said: "Thirty-Nine..."

She looked kinda astonished, smiled and said, "you could pass as Twenty!"
Ahhh.... owwww... that made my day, huh?!

In the pic on top I´m aged 23, btw. Oh, boy, yes. I know. Do we look silly, hero and I, huh? (Broome, WA in 1995)
Oh, yips, back to that... the Woman... in her mid-60´s maybe, said, "did you know your Husband saved my life?"
(I stopped telling people we´re not married, it´s useless over here)

I know why I abandon(ed) my poor bike outside at a tree - the stairs to the basement are steep and with my dumb right arm... I need help.
This woman has a bike much heavier than mine and trying to get it down none-the-less.
It was a (or "the" (haha, just kidding, summer ain´t that bad)) hot day and she wasn´t feeling that good.
The moment she lost balance Ingo happened to open the door to the basement, grabbed her with one hand, the bike with the other and saved her from falling down the steep stairs - don´t you think he ever mentioned this to me?
She now leaves her bike somewhere else, she left her groceries beside the door and pedalled away...

Oh. And she asked if I like the house, if I like living here?

Why, yes!
We agreed it´s a very nice place.

Oh-so-often you find bags with groceries in the hall, no one being around.
Last week some suitcase was parked half the stairs up. And no. No one panicked, this was no bomb, just luggage from a holiday and as soon as the guys felt like it, they took it home, after a few days.

Somehow people trust each other in here.
Oh! And "Alexander" from second floor will move out, she told me.

Yes. That "kid" that start´s playing basketball at 10:30 p.m over where my PC is, and hence I, with me getting up at 04:55 a.m.
Yay!

Are They Loved?

2011-08-10T20:47:00.002+02:00

If you look at my Niece´s unhappy face: No.
Teeth.

We both have our issues with them atm.

She´s growing back teeth and I... that darn root canal treatment still isn´t over, another app with the doc tomorrow at 9:00 am - yeah, a great way to spend your holidays - daily visits at the dentist...

But, well. In a "summer" like this, this ain´t too bad, huh?!

I´m really, really sick of this weather!

We´re doing great, though, Niece and I, esp she does.
Near to no crying.

Even when her Daddy went away and she stayed with only me and my Mum.
Last one is kinda killing me lately with her attitude.
All.Negative, I won´t say more.

We went to her maybe-someday-or-maybe-rather-not-to-be-home so Ingo could take care of all the electrical stuff. And with this... I´m kinda out of it. Maybe not, though.
Ack - I become more and more like my Father. I have less and less patience with every day.

Niece did fine. Was a little sleepy-head who did not complain when I "shoved" her from left to right and back... she´s 10 kg already!

Aaaand... she can pull herself up to standing! That fast that I didn´t catch it.

Yeah, that sad look... back to the title, huh?
Teeth. Needed - but not loved!

New things Niece is doing:
Pointing to random stuff or/and things she wants (nearly ate a whole banana at once!) and "giving" things.
Throwing away and loving getting back stuff to throw it away.

Toys? Ah-gack, no.
Grown-up-stuff. Sorting and watching what "they" do with it (electrical!) - Bro aka Daddy takes it easy.

Screwdriver - taking it away from her, smiling into her face, saying, "nah... it grows away nastilily from your eye, Hon."

Knive: "Uhh, no. Tastes a lot like blood, believe me...."

Yeah. She is in good hands there, no? ;-)
The teeth... no - she is loved, for sure, and in an easy-going way.
Would love to have Bro´s patience!

Addendum: Niece hates long ways - she goes from A to B straight. You sit in between? You´re crawled over by her. Too funny! She just doesn´t mind it takes longer - she has her target right in front, remember?!

Speak German IV

2011-08-09T16:45:00.000+02:00

The "vexed" Leitkultur is another rather sad chapter in this book.

You could guess I talk about an entirely different book than this one, but no.
Thanks to WWII Germans feel guilty and using the term Leitkultur is rather "dangerous" to use.
The author reveals that ex-chancellor Schröder in 2006 stated that everybody who lives in Germany should know how we greet each other, what our public holidays stand for and not mix up carnival and Christmas. That we need this orientation if we want to live together.
Politician Renate Künast said in 2005 it would be nice if in Germany no Turkish Man would have his wife walking two steps behind him, loaded with two huge bags full of groceries... Well. Still a common sight here. She said you cannot force this. And that we should not use the term Leitkultur.

Well. Living in Germany really should be more than speaking German, no?

Take Holland. They were known for being very tolerant with or towards immigrants and asylum seekers. In 2002 another party took over and things changed. Learning their language is a duty there now.
When an Arab, who spoke their language, commited murder as revenge for a movie on Islamism Theo van Gogh staged, people burnt down mosques, insulted women wearing headscarfs... impossible over here - we have to tolerate.
Great Britain now has a "Britain Day". And Germany? When Germans proudly waved with the German flag in 2006 (FIFA World Cup was hosted here) we were warned that the world might interpret this as nationalism and this would not be a good thing.

Ha, wrong, they do it without even thinking of that little man from Austria.

Speaking of... The "invasion" of anglicism did not start in 1945 - in 1947 Walter Lippman shaped the definition "cold war". Here it became known as "kalter Krieg". When in 1948 the United States helped people in West Berlin via "Airlift" Germans called it "Luftbrücke". In the 50´s the concept of "Self-Service"-Shops came to Germany - people called it "Selbstbedienung".

The foundation for the German language started to give 3 words per month you could use. Sadly they stopped in 2006.

Why do you have to say "Body Guard", call it Leibwächter. "Brainstorming" - Denkrunde. "Call Center" - Rufdienst... there are alternatives.
"Fast Food".... they state it´s already half German with "fast" being German for nearly it describes that kind of food pretty well, no? You can nearly eat/enjoy it ;-)

German Lufthansa years ago was asked by the author why their motto is "There´s no better way to fly." Why a German company talks to their German customers in English? And that "Keiner fliegt Sie besser." is shorter, too?
Guess what - certainly this was ignored, they still have that stupid slogan...

Maybe we should follow the French?
In 1994 the sectrtary for culture, Jaques Toubon, was able to pass this law: 3500 common "imported" English words were forbitten in advertisement, in instruction manuals and for journalists in radio and TV and in departments.
And Lufthansa? They had to change their slogan into "Il n´y a pas plus belle façon de s´envoler." Why keep it English for Germans? (Not that I had the money to fly with Lufthansa anyways....).

And did you know? Germany is the only German-speaking Country that does not regulate the language by Basic Law - even though it is even named after it´s language. At least that was the case in 2006 - no idea if they changed it.
Austria and Liechtenstein have German as only official language.
Switzerland, Belgium and Luxemburg as one at least.

The campaign to make people drive sober was called: "Don´t drug and drive." And school-kids who are supposed to learn how to handle money... this subject was called "Money and Kids" - hello?!
Children speak "bad" German. At home the TV is often running non-stop, also at meals. TV wins over books - allegedly 1/3 of 17-year-old girls in Germany have never read a book, with boys it´d be 2/3 (hard to believe!).

German is taught only 3-4 hours per week, that makes 16% - France and China teach their kids their language some more... 26%.
The book ends demanding schools teaching more German, hoping it´ll stay a living language.
Let´s see.

Was an interesting read.

Currywurst To Run

2011-08-09T13:34:00.000+02:00

On Mondays we go to the city and search for something to eat.

This one is new - they call it "Braunschweiger delicacy" or "specialty". The idea is not bad, really:

Just... eww.... We had to throw it in the bin.
The whole way home I had the icky smell - I thought it was my shirt - go and try to curry your food when it´s windy.
Was worse than that - I had the stuff in my hair.

On a better note... Got a cool book for little Niece:

The weather is still bad.
This seems to be a hit this season - umbrellas wherever you go...

You can even get one with Braunschweig as motive:

Lush And Green

2011-08-06T16:41:00.000+02:00

Forcast was: Rainy and cold(er) - reality was: Hot and part sunny, part cloudy - ideal weather for a walk (it´s that humid, our parquet floor is "coming up", we´ve got 90% air humidity, weird, huh?).

These trees got a haircut, how funny...

This looks like cotton, kinda:

Idyllic pic, huh (just... who wants to sit in the plain sun?!):

View on the Ölpersee:

We couldn´t get hungry here right now (though... they´re far from being ripe...):

The river Oker invites for a little tour:

I just can´t get enough of this color:

Wow, isn´t this a cool neighbourhood?!

Can you call this art?

The river Oker...

Love, love, love this time of the year, these colors...

More art...

And more :-)

See why I love this place?
So many years I stayed in the wrong places, am I happy to be here now (huh,... Drama-Queen, I know ;-)...)

Saw this today, gotta send this pic to my colleagues from the "DDR"! (They outnumbered "us Wessis"!)

Bro sent me this pic... OMG. This isn´t a Baby anymore, this is a kid!

Time so flies (and she isn´t even one year old)...

Weather looks still good - gotta call "someone" to light the BBQ! :-)
Happy weekend!

Speak German III

2011-08-05T17:01:00.003+02:00

This book also puts Volkswagen on the "pillory" - and what I find quite sad actually is: You take it. You don´t think about it.

Just why do they call their models - here in Germany for German customers! - Trendline. Highline, Sportline, Comfortline, Roadster, Offroader, Van in colors like Shadow Blue, Granite Green, Arctic Blue Silver with - if you wish - Adaptive Cruise Control (what´s that?), Fuel Stratified Injection (huh?) or Keyless Entry Start Exit System.
You have to keep in mind, too, that people who have the money to buy such a car just like that are 60+.

They do it to "get attention" - what´s that worth if you´re not understood, huh?

And all those stupid mixed/fake-words!
The Deutsche Bahn (railway) lost it´s mind in 1971 and "invented" the term "intercity" and in 1995 they established the "Bahn(German)card(English) instead of "Bahnkarte". Now they added "Service Points", "Surf & Rail" and stuff like that. Oh! And "Bike and Bahn" - hello?! Are they drunk?

Hilarious, no?

Well - a whole ridiculous chapter is BSE. I´m not talking of this desease, I´m talking of Bad Simple English, also known as Academic Pidgin. That is what German scientists talk in.

Weird thing is... they don´t only do this when talking to also English scientists on a congress... they keep on smattering like this to each other!
Can you picture such a scene?

The author says, the observer doesn´t really know if he thinks it´s funny or if he´s to become desperate. He has the feeling he´s in the loony bin, just not sure if he´s there as inmate or guard...
To be coninued...

Are E Es Pe Ee...

2011-08-05T01:05:00.007+02:00

Addendum, yes, right at the top.
It all was just a misunderstanding. Ingo grabbed bread at the grocery store.
Just bread. Nothing more.
I thought he does it cause he´s mad at me. Which made me mad and I left.
Which made Ingo mad...
Sometimes we´re just.... dumb.

You know.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Ranting by or for myself here, just skip the whole thing, please.
I only need to get it out. 11:30 - I´ve only got this blog to "talk to".

Spouse said: "Leave me alone." - which I did after taking that first step (asking to be "OK") - cause I love him, huh? Can anything be that bad that we fight like this, see last post.
I did it none-the-less - leave him alone cause I know it means respect for him and it´s of very high value to him (and he knows how I struggle, how much it hurts me to "leave alone").
It just doesn´t matter anyhows anymore, it seems (for him).

I wanna be respected, too! (Is this really a "one-way-road"?)
But if he (or someone else I care about) says, "I´m sorry" - I´m usually absolutely ok with it. I´m not resentful.

Second night alone. Guess I´ll just watch stupid TV.
Maybe somewhere I can find Petrocelli?
Surely not.
We´re Germany :-(

I don´t even care to insert pics.
I "hate"/find it hard(er) to read long posts without pics. Another reason I don´t add any - to scare you off. Hah-ha... Why would I even want to remember this???

Ordered a Pizza that came 10 minutes early (I admit.. .I love to watch the "Simpsons" for dinner - unhealthy, but "fun") - Pizza was/is way too hot, I could hardly bare the taste. Second half (haha. blog-title still justified) will be even hotter, but I´ll take it, I´m me (and next time let them know I´m a whimp, too - (ordered this for the 5th time).
Rambling, feeling self-pity.

I had a "shitty" week. Stupid root-canal-treatment was No.Fun! (and Spouse was there for me).
Today was supposed to be a check-up only but my dentist... heck. I don´t even know what exactly she did? It hurt and I tasted blood. She´d poked my gum due to some reason. She explained, too. I didn´t understand and she was talking away (try to ask with mouth wide open, hurting) ...

Wasn´t that bad. Will have to go back on Wed and she announced she has some more in line for me.
Will be paid for by health insurance.
And she is really nice, too, trying to calm me down, explaining where this stupid anxiety comes from and that it´s normal (kinda, for some people).

NOTE: Never ever admit you´re on holiday and staying home --> be available in the mornings for three weeks for your dentist.
Lesson learned.

I feel like running away from it all.

It hurts real bad to not be able to talk to him.
He just knows how to hurt me - or does he? Maybe not.
Maybe I´m not worth as much to him as he´s to me, so he thinks I´m all right? (am not)

There was some Blogger-stuff "pour your heart out".
I read some. I´m not "officially" involved and this is not even about it. I ... well.

When stuff goes bad, I blog about it cause it helps me (- lack of friends?! - being introvert? Makes no sense cause... ack. No. Guess no one but me... has the patience to go trough this.. un-pictured post anyhows.)
This is no... "..." ack, sorry, I don´t wanna ... ya know. Jugde anyone.

I just am honest here, good or bad.
Yes, I don´t give away EVERYthing. But lots.
Too much?
I´m a normal person, no, life is not flowers and happy times always, huh?
(We call it life is no "Ponyhof" and sure it is no?)

hah :-)
Maybe I should just add the label "dumb", "sad", "alone at home".

Well. What I wanted to say... respect. He could just kiss me and all would be good, no?
I don´t feel good.

This "summer" was crap all over.
Maybe I´m "just" deeply depressed?
Not knowing where to go job-wise in addition? Rumors... I hate them. Yet I fail to get in action.

Human disaster roam around as well as financial ones.
Africa, Greece, Italy, Germany, Unites States...

Ha. I don´t have that much money anyways, go ahead, polititians, ruin us - you have enough money, each one of you.

Child murderer Gaefgen gets 3000 € "loss compensation" cause back then police threatened him with tortue if he refuses to admit his crime (to find the poor boy alife) - See FB-entry.

Some times are just too dark for a "civilised", "rich" person to take.

I´ll sleep bad tonight, if at all.

Sometimes I wish I was so sick as he was in 2008 and he´d worry about me as I did about him.

This is very sick, I know.
And I do not wish for it at all.

Well, as we all know... the more "secure" our lives are... health-wise, finacially-wise, too... and all the other (like having great colleagues for the most part, making work turn into fun)... the more we (or I) whine about things like this.

I think he´s with me still, no?
He refuses to write his "last will" - just one of the many worries (if THAT happened... I wouldn´t care about life no more for... who knows how long - and the condo would very likely be gone, me giving only 30% of value).

I have to see the positive side.
I´m healthy and have a good job, owe no one nothing (heck)!! According to my Mum I´m anything BUT positive.

I hope Spouse - who has had heaps of stress job-wise - will... make it be ok.
So my stupid throat stops hurting and I can sleep.
Is there anything better than sharing one sheet?
I feel like S###.

A Love To Remember

2011-08-03T18:57:00.000+02:00

I sure am lucky, my tooth doesn´t hurt at all.
Ingo suggested I take the pain-killers anyways for in case it takes them hours to work.
No idea if there would be pain in my tooth/jawbone.

Was a sunny day.
Like yesterday.
Now it´s over, cloudy and that was probably that for the week or weeks.
Global warming. Yeah.

You know how it is?
You wanna have the perfect holiday. And all goes just wrong.
Maybe it was just a misunderstanding.

Went to the park alone and found this:

You cannot read anymore who was in love with whom. It just made me aware it´s a waste of time to not be together, yet I fail to walk over again and... maybe it´s just a feeling but seems it´s always me giving in.
I can do that, yes.
But it hurts my feelings.

On one hand Spouse always tells how important it is he has his meals at the same times.
Yet... it´s 40 minutes past his "due-time" - now, tell me how is this possible?

It was a surprising "experience" to see how many single people of all ages roam the park...

At least. This did make me feel less lonely.
The Grey outside now speaks another language, though.

Some more "happy-lonely"-snapshots and no... I don´t wanna get any "awww, you poor...."...

This boat is such an "awww...", I´m just plain stupid/hurt-person.
Why is it always me giving in?

Am I of minor value?
If I don´t give in I stay alone?

I know.

There are waaaay bigger problems in the world than this.

This, though, is my world atm.

It´s Wednesday and I have to sound happy and supportive.
Wednesday is the day I call my Mum.
A story way too long, I can - or have to - say: She is not happy, she is not healthy - and Bro and me fail to help despite we try hard over all those years.
Not even little Niece can help here.

It sounds mean. But there are times - like when I feel bad myself, like... now - I feel like. Not calling.
But I can´t do that.

Maybe I have to be like a - not this (it smells bad!) - a lake. Calm, strong and full of... flowers?

Do I have a point to make here?

Well. Yes.
I´m sick of pretending I´m the strong one.
But here no one cares.

Anyone having the same problem? If so... what do you do? Just give in again, have no false pride (is it false?).

Speak German II

2011-08-03T12:44:00.002+02:00

Well, after part I naturally follows part II now, right?

Some more weird stuff. About 60% of German people - they state in the book - don´t speak English.
Ok. Define German. Many, many of the kids of the "guest workers" in the third generation don´t speak proper German, let alone English, yet they are born here and hence are German.
Add up my parent´s generation - it was WW II. They were stuck in the bunker, not learning much at all.
They say of the 40% who state they speak proper English, many obviously exaggerated.

There are... hmmm. pretended English words we "create", like Twen for people in their twenties.

Funny also... how people from US and GB get a flat so differently!
Guess I´d understand the right thing each time (tyre/condo), but I never thought of it. Or do both use both? I think so, huh?

This book teaches me also that not everything we adapted is totally stupid but some come with a history - what a relief! ;-)

The US Army had walkie-talkies, right? After 1945 they had smaller ones, not so heavy and they called them handy-talkies - this is why we call our cell-/ or mobile-phones "Handy".
I mentioned this before and just shook my head about us saying Smoking for tuxedo.
In GB the English Man wore a smoking-jackett when going to the smoking room. And this is why we still say Smoking for tuxedo .
So if you use a dictionary in "reverse" and give the German Smoking, you get the translation dinner-suit, -jacket, or tuxedo.

How easy it is to "Get Lost In Translation", huh? ;-)

What do you think?

No More Cheese

2011-08-02T16:38:00.000+02:00

The last time doing laundry revealed: We´re sick of my cheap washing machine.
We have a Mielebär, hence we should own a Miele, right?!
So... we took Mielebär with us when we went to the city :-)
Sadly the store we went to didn´t sell washing machines but kitchen-stuff only, so we gotta try next time.

But look at this cool Hamster-House I spotted!

I had a bed-closed/wardrobe-table-combination as a kid - a fire-brigade. Sooooo sad there are no pics, it was the coolest thing and so darn practical.

The bed was high up on top, I could do my homework on the drivers´ place unterneath, store my books and all behind me, beside that was place for shirts and all, the rear was the wardrobe, in front you could open the engine hood and there was so much space, I never got it full (go reckon... I was such a poor kid, I had near to no toys ;-)...)
Really wonder why you cannot buy it these days? Just boring ones.

Well. Today is really hot, the best day of the week, they said in the news.
I sit inside and wait for the pain to finally come through.

The bleeding is there as soon as I bend over - won´t do that anymore for two days.

Heck, am I glad Ingo came with me to the oral surgeon today!
I was so glad to see him afterwards I nearly started to cry.
Actually I can say: Apart from the injection nothing did hurt! It was just so freaking loud! And the first time this was done 12 years ago (obviously not well done!!!) it did hurt a lot. Well. It´s over, I got it done!

Yeah. I go and have a root canal treatment in my holidays. How dumb.

Will it hurt? Feels a little numb, that´s all.
And I´m allowed no cheese for two days, bu-huu.

I´m not allowed to run the next 10 days, either. Very sad. Push-bike? Hmmm, let´s see. Just a bit, slowly will be ok, I guess - if the weather stays well.

Holidays... can only get better from now on!

Holidaaaay

2011-07-29T22:31:00.001+02:00

Officially on holidays for three weeks now, yay!

Bro is going to FB company-wise and hence I have to redo the stupid, 10-y-o page, right?

Well. Whilst searching for pics for the part "History" I found the one above.
Bro and me, in peace, calm, having a break, being lost in daydreams.
A holiday. Happy times.

I love it and have good - great - memories of that holiday at the North Sea.

Any parent with kids being apart 5 years can imagine this isn´t easy. So... fond memories of this age are rather rare.

These days we´re besties, all turned out good (see last post with little Niece) :-)

Just had to add this pic here, that´s all.
16C here - not funny! 30+ it should be! Coldest Country in Europe - nothing to be proud of, gah! Better weather predicted for Monday + , though :-)

Happy weekend!

NO Hats For Baby Girl!!!

2011-07-25T22:00:00.010+02:00

This is Ingo making a Strawberry-Cake. Cause my family was about to visit.

It sure was a hit!

Sorry bout all the blurry pics - I laughed my head off!

Little Niece recognised me, I guess.
Her new thing is: Pointing!!! And smiling big whilst doing so. Too cute.

Here she is just before going mad... I come to that later (bad "Uncle Ingo!"), hehe :-)

See... she just looks at Ingo, not at the hat (and yes. The Chicken was about to die... and yes... Ingo explains to her where the hat is from - you got a clue?)

She is so... brave! We were in the living room and she was crawling outta the room, into the floor, not caring if anyone would follow, made the whole, long way to the end of the hall/floor and went into the dark bathroom (no window!). WTH? Girl - what are you up to?!

Ingo tried to give the "moose-Girl" an adequate hat... but NO!!! She didn´t like it for sure.

Well. It sure was very nice to have them here. Due to traffic it took them nearly two hours to get here! (some 60 km!)

Little Niece explored everything - gosh I really have to learn to put all sensible stuff away! Did you know Babies find just everything?!

Well. At some point she got a little bored, so I asked if she can already ride the moose/elk (after I learned she´s way too young to have a lolly (was all bio!)).

Ingo got it down, Bro sat her on it and she thought it was quite funny.
(Bro held her tight, certainly, she´s 11 months now only)

Well.
You ride an animal - you need a cool hat - is what Ingo thought... Let`s see about it next time.
Ingo said Little Niece definitevly didn´t want to leave, she made her whole body all stiff to not fit into the trolley - I thought she was just grumpy. Gotta learn a lot, huh? Being an Auntie isn´t easy! ;-)
She´s a cute girl.

And she doesn´t like hats. At.All.

Speak German Part I

2011-07-21T21:29:00.009+02:00

Ingo wanted to have this book and sure as always... since he reads on holidays only, I started it first.

I expected the author just complaining about the - really often unnecessary - mix-in of English words.
We call it Denglish, btw.

The book is a hit.
Clever, well written and with many details I just didn´t know.
If you´re interested in living languages - read along!

I´m only as far as page 41 out of nearly 180 and I have so much to share already!
Laugh your butt off or shake your head in disbelief - I make this a series (I think, maybe of 2 only) cause it is kinda a journey!

Sarah if you happen to be here... this book changes my view (hence me) on the whole debate.

So... let´s go ahead, shall we?

The author gives an ode to the German language and also reveals it´s stupid sides at times. Example...

tomato juice = Tomaten-saft
(one word, Tomatensaft, I split it up for easier reading) - a juice made from tomatoes, right?

From what is Husten-saft, hence??? Yikes?
On the other hand... you call it cough syrup. Not as near to yikes as we are, but also close, no?
There are more examples but it´d take too long to explain for being funny for you.

Apropos long... One thing people always state: German is too long, English is fast and easy. Umm... no.
Again, for many you need to know how to pronounce, so I give only the "obvious" ones.

Bahnhof - railway station
Fluchtpunkt - vanishing point
Trödler - second hand dealer
Kundendienst - after-sales service
vorgestern - the day before yesterday (!!! hello?)
Umweltschutz - environmental protection

The author collected German words used in the English language - written in newspapers, used when talking about Germany (Autobahn and such) and regularly (Gesundheit, Angst, Kindergarten...) - over 100!

Funny note... my customer, Volkswagen is using "fahrvergnügen" since 1990 in the United States - and it works!

He also points out that some words are written and mean the same, like: arm, winter, person...

Even France took over some of our words. When they lost in soccer against Germany in 1986 they wrote in the papers: "Kaputt!" - we thought it was a "joke", but no... they use this word in real life.

I think this one is typically German.
On one hand women call for equal rights - and sadly we´re far-far away from it concerning pay (amongst other).
Alice Schwarzer on the other hand insists on using the male and female address - you know how this goes on many people´s nerves?
Does the following bring any additional information to you?:

die Politikerinnen (female, ladies first, huh? Let´s stay old-fashioned in this one, being totally inconsistent) and Politiker,
Beamtinnen und Beamte,
Mitarbeiterinnen und Mitarbeiter
and-so-on.

I fought very hard and won. In our B2E-Portal we have the statement that we use the male form and adress also all women with this.

The point the author tries to make here, though is: some people have power over language.
Like also the Black Panther Party - even in Germany we have to call them Schwarze (Blacks) and get in trouble for saying Neger. Clever guys they are (in contrast to Alice Schwarzer who makes women look worse in the political sector in my pov...)

Speaking of short words, huh?
For "Negerkuss" (as it was called before, "Negro-Kiss", for ages and loved with no stupid/weird thoughts by all kids) you say (via wiki) Chocolate-coated marshmallow treats we have to say "Schaumkuss" now, referring to the (accidetially) white foam-like mass in the inside.

More to come...

Addendum Just today the news reveal the United Nations agree to the German text/statement concerning climate change, see also BBC News