The cookies are Ingo´s job right now.
(Don´t get me wrong - he is a fab engineer, but they don´t let him work the way he could.)
Me?---
The Ingo I knew is gone, more or less, since half a year.
Yes, half a year.
Moments of happiness inbetween - I didn´t cheat on you.
Job VS us - job wins - just like with my Dad.
We´ve been through so much over all those (20) years.
I´m sad and tired.
Why I blog this?
It belongs to my life.
Life isn´t just chocolate pizza.
I´m desperate. My heart hurts. I don´t know what to do.
Another weekend gone. Due to one "wrong" phrase of mine.
I am...
I have no power no more, asked so-so often to talk to boss, but Ingo prefers to destroy himself via probably coming heart-attack and destroying us.
Fun times:
My heart is heavy.
Frustration.
Hurt, deep, deep hurt.
Crying, silently.
No one to be honest to without unwanted re-action (no one can help anyways).
Who is to blame?
Ingo´s boss, Ingo, me?
Weekends are there to relax, to regain power.
More and more often they so are not for me or us.
And does he do anything about it?
"I will" - "I will"...
..and off we go.
Just ignore me.
Really, please do. I just need to get it out.
I am a happy person, right?
I am healthy!!!! I don´t take that for granted! Lost both my parents to cancer.
I have a good job.
Mostly great colleagues.
Time is so precious and he just doesn´t care. Anymore.
I try to say "I love you" in so many ways.
I´m not heard - no more.
Guess every one goes through this once in a while.
But for such a long time???
I´m a rubbsish bin since months.
And I can no more.
Yet Monday I´ll be off to work. Like a stupid machine.
Every moment in life is precious...
Yet another night alone...
I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time, Iris. I reckon job/career can become a problem in a lot of relationships. Sometimes it feels like farm is a third person in our marriage. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah, I hope we´re on the up now! xx
ReplyDeleteIris this was a very sad post, I don't know how I missed it. I really hope things are getting better.. The main thing is communication, unfortunately not something that comes easily to many men. You two just got married, believe me you will get through this if you keep talking. Big hugs from Perth xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Grace, yes, you sure are right, men and talking doesn´t go together that well... But Ingo talked to the boss now and hopefully things do get better, thanks for caring! xx
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