We met 22 years ago and spent two weeks together. And met never ever since.
At first we wrote each other letters often afterwards.
She sent me pics, too, and once even a tape. I have to say, she can sing, she has a beautiful voice!
The letters were exchanged less and less often. Recently (with recently being some years) only for Christmas and birthdays. Which makes it once a year since her Birthday is near to Christmas with being today and I´m due in January.
This year I did not forget. I just... wasn´t sure. We have nothing in common anymore (did we ever have?) apart from those letters once a year.
Yesterday her Christmas-letter already arrived (and just in time, as if she knew this could just end from my side).
There has been school-bullying against her.
She wrote the school director, the teachers, the pastor, they all had failed. She retreated.
She isn´t a teacher, she is a student. And certainly it´s not her fault, like always.
She is 36 years old and she has not finished one thing, not one training! She had started many things, I can tell.
Her boyfriend of 4 years (who betrayed her all the time) has left her. She thinks of suicide. Another letter to me is on the way, she announced.
Now what am I supposed to do?
I did sit down yesterday and wrote a letter, card included.
I wasn´t honest, I didn´t write what I really think . Like all those years. I doubt she´d buy an honest opinion. I did try, many times, but never got any reaction.
I didn´t lie either.
Now, did I help her?
She lives with her mother (who has no job either) and it seems there is no other woman she has as a friend.
Am I her friend?
Seesh. I sure feel sorry for her, though I cannot remotely understand her.
22 years ago I met a nice and funny girl. I was wondering, even back then!, why she would try to make friendship with such a shy person like me.
Seems she is still 14, still looking for a girl that can be her friend and lead her through life.
Just... I still feel helpless when it comes to her life.
Anybody with a similar experience?
Happy Birthday, Meike.
3 comments:
No advice on how to help her, sorry, bit I think you did the right thing with the letter.
I had a pen-friend from when I was about 10 and finally met her 20 years later when she and her mother visited Australia for a month and stayed with hubby and I for two weeks. It was the longest two weeks of my life - we had absolutely nothing in common and lived very different lives - and I was so glad when it was over. We made rather empty promises to continue writing but I think we only exchanged one or two more letters and kind of let it die a natural death.
I think it would be time to sever the ties... but would have to come from your end. Just my opinion!
Iris, that was a really good post. All of my relationships with 'pen pals' as we call them here in Australia have fallen apart over time. I always kept the letter writing up but it was they who stopped...so I stopped.
There's no point writing letters if you're not getting any back. I think you did the right thing by writing back, I just wonder if she will keep writing when her problems are over.
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