Thank you for your words/sharing experiences with depression.
I try to hide it.
But it can eat you up from the inside, huh.
Especially when no one understands.
Ingo accepts that I refuse to go to another doctor or take yet another med (I tried all that).
But he does not understand - luckily!!! - what it is.
How it feels like.
How it stops you in doing what you WANT, like finding a job and on top "Corinna" sneaks in and makes it even more complicated.
All that.
Sometimes I wanna yell and run away, but I´m me, right, I stay, cook some food and ... stay.
Take a deep breath.
Bad day yesterday.
I´m glad I have you out there, who understand.
My heart is bursting in despair.
I.Will.Start.Fresh.
Come Monday I will do that.
And, mind you, so much ARGH from SIL, even Bro. It hurts. They have it all, inherited from their parents, the businesses/shops - NOT EASY, EITHER, don´t get me wrong!!!!
But no idea of "real life", yet telling me what to do :-(
First pic: Mr., "Herr Mikesh", found somewhere by SIL, blind on one eye.
He understood I´m afraid of fire and checked on me every... hour? 30 minutes? when I stayed overnight beside the fireplace.
He had a bell around his neck, sneaking by not possible, I woke up every time.
Sweet boy, Henry says.
To better times, right! :-)
I mean: HAHA! It´s warm AND raining, can it get better?! Even thunder now! And, yes, not even 07:00 am on a Sunday! Warm!! Lightning! I was outside and the biiiig drops made me change my clothes afterwards, it was plain wonderful!
Ingo was already waiting, ripping the door open, asking where I was so long - well, I was enjoying the summer rain!!!
Oh, AND!
Only stupid thing: I have a fresh (!) Bratwurst for Ingo... hmmm. We have coal.... rain, please leave, say 04:30?
Yesterday - and, yes, people "I made fire"!!!! - I got the coal so darn hot, I CAN DO IT!!!!
Henry likes it raw, but me? DRY! - and I can do it!!!
Baby steps - but steps!
13 comments:
RIP Mr. Mikesh. That was a gorgeous cat, even though it was obvious he was blind in one eye.
You definitely know what real life is, even if your family faults you. Chin up and don't be depressed, dear. Look at that hunk Scott and grin.
Wow, those coals are HOT indeed. I like juicy, but I don't eatmeat anymore. Please enjoy your dry meat. I'll pass (grin).
...you NEED to do the best job taking care of yourself today and every day to come.
Elizabeth, Herr Mikesh was was cute.
I still have paprika/capsicum I could grill for you!!!
Life is stupid at time ;-) To a new start!
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Tom, yes, Sir, I will try!
I know it's not the same as my hives, but I've had these for 3 years on almost a daily basis and all the meds they have had me try and nothing is really working. It's so hard to deal with. And maybe that's the part like depression. But I am not putting down depression as it is very serious. I hope you are able to get through the dark clouds and try to find some sunshine.
Life is all about the baby steps Iris, there aren't many that feel confident enough to boldly go forward climbing mountains etc. I am having a particular struggle with something myself and just this evening have decided I need help with it.. don't panic, nothing serious but it could be if I don't address it. Well done on the barbequing, I haven't done that yet 😁
Barbecue is nice on a hot summer day. Enjoy!
Be the best you can be, everything will fall in place. The bbq looks good, it's a few years since we've done that. Enjoy yourself, Iris.
Thinking of you ...
All the best Jan
Jetzt war ich doch wieder eine Weile nicht hier...
Meine Erfahrung mit Depression ist dass niemand in deiner Umgebung sie wirklich erkennt. Ich hatte bisher zwei- oder dreimal Phasen einer Depression, und jedesmal ist es auch mir erst anschliessend aufgefallen, was mit mir los war. Es ist eine verflixte Sache und sehr einsam, da tatsächlich viele Menschen sie nicht verstehen (ich hab's ja auch nicht verstanden). Das hilft dir jetzt natürlich auch nicht weiter... Baby steps sind gut, du gehst weiter und bleibst nicht auf der Stelle stehen. Du hast deine Depression erkannt, und ich hoffe wirklich, du bekommst die Hilfe, die du brauchst.
I'm so happy you were brave enough and made a barbecue fire for the bratwurst.
I'll admit I don't understand depression, but I've seen the effects it has on people. I just don't know how to help and that makes me sad.
Erika, thank you, I try. It´s frustrating when people say meds will work and they don´t - my hugs to you!
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Grace, be careful. I experimented too long, listening to a stupid doctor...
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gigi, yes, was YUM :-)
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Bill, how?! I could not "live" without a BBQ now and then!
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Thank you, Jan!
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Carola, danke. Ich suche keine Hilfe mehr, Die Medikamente wirken bei mir nicht, ich hatte sogar "Gesprächstherapie", hat auch nicht geholfen, ich muss da alleine raus.
Aber du hast Recht, andere tun es oft als "Quatsch" ab.
Auf dass auch du da nicht wieder reinrutschst!
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River, yes :-) On the BBQ.
I think you cannot help another person that has depression, so don´t be sad.
It´s too complex...
One step at a time, Iris. Oh, Mr. Mikesh sounds wonderful. And the bbq looks great. So delicious.
I wish I had easy answers. We all do. But it's hard to make those who haven't experienced depression understand. Just hold fast and do your best.My thoughts are with you.
Thank you, Jeanie, it ain´t easy, but could be worse!
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