I always did.
From a young age I worked.
I ran from dogs, delivering ads (and much more, I worked in an icky food-factory with maggots and cockroaches - brrr, for an undertaker, too). I jumped high(er than at school in sport from a dog chasing me).
And now?
I´ve been working 17 years as an "IT-analyst", but the last years, what did I do, really??
No programming no more.
I combined two systems (not easy!).
I told people off!!!
Me, can you imagine this?!
Our customer had an internal "mini-e-Bay" I could´ve made good, but a "colleague" stole the project from me... long ago.
Anyways, we had rules like... no aggressive, over 18-years games.
GTA... you think I´m stupid?! I know what this is. COD, same, I do not have to show you...
One even - and they were there with their real names, at their employee, too!!! One tried to sell his porn-collection, a huge list...
I had T to take care of the agressive ones, luckily - one first via e-mail a couple of times, then the phone.
Not me, I don´t take that.
He called our secretary in Braunschweig!!!
She called me, I said, no. Give it to T.
And that was fun.
The more the guy got furious, the more T got calmer. I sat 3m from T and could hear that guy screaming!
Would he act like that standing in front of us?
He "threatened" to destroy our company (we were just working "for" Volkswagen, little externals we were).
Diesel-affair, tells you something, long story short, I lost my job.
This man describes it well (sadly German only, but you can use google-translator or something).
"Don´t act as if you are sick!" maybe describes a depression best.
You cannot see it, say, like a broken leg or something.
I loose a lot of my very thin hair.
Ingo sometimes thinks I´m acting, I´m lazy.
I get mails, paper-mails from the same and different institutions, I hardly can make myself open the box.
It´s STRESS. One says A, the other Z and they´re from the same place, I get different names, too - if I worked like that!!
You cannot see depression. And I have very fun and good moments, too - AND I WANT TO WORK!
But I do not know WHAT!!!!
According to my vita I can do it all.
I´m a graded engineer, an IT-analyst, bla-bla-bla, I can do nothing no more.
I can read the languages, but not program anymore.
What clothes to choose, too?
I cannot stomp in with jeans and sneakers. Can I.
But with "women-clothes" I´m not me, I feel uncomphy and loose.
Depression is making you feel overwhelmed...
And Ingo mostly is understanding, don´t get me wrong!!!
Lion of the day....
Also... we voted for the EU - no queue, no one interested...
Politicians, you did a "great" job (and I have none)...
12 comments:
Iris I don't know how to solve your problem but I worked in IT for 45 years! One thing is for sure IT changed and my job changed many times - I was a technical programmer, application programmer, systems engineer, engineering manager, performance and capacity consultant, technical writer, product manager, marketing manager and marketing writer. I lost and gained skills on the way. Sometimes I had to "dress up" to be the part, other times could slop around at home. It is such a diverse and interesting field there should be something out there for you if you can be flexible - not what you had before but something new so try not to be discouraged. .
Thank you, Joan Elizabeth! It sounds good, very good. I just need some advide and at the moment they push me from we cannot help you to you are sick.
I´ll go to an institution on Friday and hope for a solution.
Yes, I could (and will) search portals, but... old-fashioned advice from a real person would be good!
Thank you for taking your time!
I'm still trying to imagine you telling anyone off Iris 😉 I'm so glad Ingo is being understanding, that will make everything that little bit easier. I can't believe so many people didn't make the effort to vote, and very proud of you for doing so xox
Grace, yes, via e-mail I can choose my words and tell people off rather friendly ;-)
Yes. Ingo´s been through this himself, kinda, too.
You don´t vote, you automatically vote the wrong party, right. Thank you for appreciating xox
A solution should present itself with time, but it sounds like it's more important right now to take care of yourself.
Thank you, but I do this for too long already...
Not sure how labor laws work there. Do you have a union rep or labor department.
Coffee is on
We do, but they... it´s complicated, I get hopefully help come Friday...
Hopefully you will get some help on Friday Iris.
I hope so, Sami...
Reading your post and the comments - I hope you will get some help on Friday.
All the best Jan
PS Pleased that Ingo is being understanding.
Iris, I understand this so personally. I have been where you are -- in depression, in a high stress job with health issues -- some visible, some not. It is my deepest hope that you will find some help and answers you need. I don't know if you have what is called flex-time or if it's possible to work from a home computer with your company or any but that would be perfect. That certainly helped me during some pretty rough times. I'd go in for meetings and such but I could work when I needed to, unless there was a deadline (morning or late at night or when other people aren't working.) There must be a solution. I understand work is an important piece of healing and self worth and you certainly are qualified. I will think good thoughts for you.
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