Cancer VS Fun

It´s very important we get the house done for if our Mum can get home inbetween radiation therapy. It´s very important we are with her during the first meetups with her docs, too.

It´s also important we don´t loose our minds.
So we tried to spend some time with Bro´s Wife and Daughter, having a coffee before starting our "work".

Guess little Niece recognizes me now.
Yesterday we came to Bro´s home with Doner kebab and little Niece helped me a lot with mine (just the bread, certainly!).

This morning we were in a hurry due to traffic jam and doc´s app.
Bro insisted we go and buy Radish for "her" - we´d just said good-bye to Niece, so I was wondering and asking:

"Isn´t it too hot for her?"

Bro gave me a weird look. I kept my mouth shut (stress! Traffic jam ahead!) We bought radish.

I was refering to Niece and wondered why WE are supposed to buy radish, not her Mum. Take the radish to Hannover and back.
Bro meant our Mum, "certainly".

I left the radish in the car, hence...
The three of us - Mum, Bro and I - had a good laugh about this one.

Heck - talking to each other might help at times, huh? ;-)

Still can´t believe cancer is back - Mum acts so healthy...

A Sad Résumé

Pic: 1995
My Dad died of Cancer before I started blogging, in 2002.

I don´t even know if it´s healthy to keep memories like these.
But I feel the need to.

Dad: We didn´t get along well, we were too much alike.
When Bro told me Dad´ll only have days or weeks and gave me his car so I can visit...

It was as if someone had a huge hammer letting fall down on my head, or rather: As if I was wrapped up in tons of cotton.
I didn´t hear well, I didn´t see well - go figure! I drove Braunschweig-Wolfsburg, 30 km, then Wolfsburg - Göttingen - 140 km and back to Braunschweig another 110 km every second day.
With little sight!
It was merely about two weeks.

He was on morphine from the beginning of my visits. Hardly knew what´s going on.
Sometimes giving me a smile - did he recognize me?
Sometimes definitively knowing it´s (weaker) me "driving"/leading his wheelchair downhill, looking in fear at me.
Thanks, Dad - we knew what we were doing.

I still feel like puking.

The funeral.
Ingo was guiding me, holding me.
A "man" standing at the end of that "road". Ingo said: "Hey - you must be M.! Hello!"

It was Cousin M.

I´d told Ingo about him - he never ever saw a pic of him - and M´d gotten so much older, visually - even I had difficulties to recognize him. Ingo did - just from what I´d told.
Weird.

Mum had picked mini-sunflowers that covered the coffin.
Bro was one of the guys carrying the coffin whilst I nearly fell down unconscious when walking to the grave.

---

And now... We have to go the same route again, only eight years after.

It´s all different though.
No feeling of being wrapped up in cotton - it´s all so darn clear. Me, and Mum.

For the time being she even seems to get better.
Breathing is easier for her, meds are working.

I got 3 days off, so I only go Braunschweig (not Wolfsburg, which would/will add another 70 km) - Seesen - Hannover (- today Seesen again) - Braunschweig.
We visit her every day, take care we join the meetups with docs and prepare everything for in case she can get home inbetween (a lot of work).

She´ll get no chemotherapy but they only try radiation therapy - with 37 kg only this is all they can do.
On Monday they start.
Head and back only - the tumor in her liver... it´s nearly 5 cm and there is nothing they can do.
4 times a week, 10 doses all in all.

I have high hopes atm - Bro is more realistic.
At least that darn cancer doesn´t squeeze her brain - as long as no morphine is involved, she´ll stay alert and herself.

He´s Back For Good

Cancer. He´ll win again.
Crossword puzzles, my Mum does them to keep her mind fit.

About three weeks ago she mentioned a "swelling" on her head. I asked, did you fall?

Nope. Was Mr Cancer telling he´s back, we know now. Oh, he makes a visit to her liver, too.
And those puzzles? She found she had put in some really dumb stuff at times...

Ingo picked these flowers for her. He didn´t join me, he can´t see a hospitel from the inside anymore.
Ha. Can I???
I can, I have to. And it´s Hannover again. Ha. I recognised that place at once :-(

Mum managed to get down to 37 kg. She´s 1,54m or such.
Why?
Heck, who knows.
Guess she didn´t want to live for some years now.
Little Niece is her only joy, how sad is that. But she doesn´t care to live to see her on her first day of school or such.

With only skin an bones... docs can do nothing. They cannot operate.
I asked if they can give her calories intravenously - let´s see.
I have little hope.

Cancer takes my parents away.
Bro and I are alone soon. Can you imagine this?
I know... I´m nearly 40. But I still feel like a kid when it comes to my Mum.

We all met when my Grandma celebrated another Birthday. She had 7 kids, with 5 living in Germany, 2 in Switzerland.
When she died they met again. Then on Bro´s wedding. Maybe next time...
Well, we just lost contact. Sad...

This is what Ingo got for me - for free - he told the "flower-woman" his story of being nearly dead and that this one goes to hospital as well.

Mum takes it. Guess she won´t fight.

Cancer. I so do hate you.
You always win.

I Could Pedal Real Fast

Ha - don´t I look like a professional bike-rider?
Bro made this Mamba for me (with my diopter) - it sits real tight so no wind can reach my eyes. I fought/fight with conjunctivitis again and again and it all started with driving the bike in ice-cold weather. Yeah, dumb-me, I know.

One (!) bike-tour so far this summer due to bad weather or Ingo being sick (the first one I´m like really angry about, the second makes me sad). Well. Here we go!

Fruits are ripe and we had some, right from the tree/bush!

Sure enough we crossed river Oker:

Here is my beloved, mostly abandoned bike...

And...

The Oker surrounds our town...

Beautiful, no?

My focus here is Ingo´s shadow - kinda arty, huh?

We come near town - idyllic, I think:

In town, aye, matey, wanna play?

It even comes with an anchor!

Here we stopped to have a refreshing beer (with strawberries on my side - dumb idea):

At Herman´s, a Café/Bar dedicated to Opa Herman, a cute idea:

Hope we get some more healthy and sunny days for bike-rides. If not: I hope for both being better next summer...

Cause... you know: I could pedal real fast with my Mamba!!

Deutschland for Beginners

Pics taken in Wilhelmshaven in 2008...

I found another funny book about my country and it´s people.
It´s about a guy from Great Britain who feels Weltschmerz and goes to see a psychiatrist - who is from the United States and loves Germany (not enough to live there, though) and tells him to visit Germany to get healed.

It´s not really a novel, and it´s full of truths, mostly funny ones.
You gotta be able to laugh about yourself, no? :-)

So, maybe you wanna join me on a trip of the best of "My Adventurous Journey Into The Land Of Weltschmerz And Sauerkraut", here we go...

The psychiatrist aka Manny sends the author aka Ben to the Baltic Sea, to Kühlungsborn. Ben says it looks like a scene from the Truman Show. He is quite right, too.
He lives in a hotel and wants to get the best place at the beach the next morning.

Guess you know this ad for Carling Black Label?



He knew it´ll be just like that and got up extra early. To find... not a single soul - and no sunbeds either.

He saw his first roofed wicker beach chairs instead and heaps and heaps of them, too.
Heck, sure, what else?! Are they really typically German? I didn´t even know.

"My home is my castle" goes for the British Man... the Germans... aw, well ;-)

He was astonished, too, to see a German flag flying.
He says, flags of other countries he knew well from tourism-ads. You hardly see the German flag in London on ads measuring 5*10 metres - people might think the Third World War is on.
Well. First I had to laugh. But then. Kinda not. Do they have the Russian flag on there?

Boy. This brought me on to page 49... out of nearly 400.

I can understand if you find no interest in this.
I´ll keep the same title throughout: "D For Beginners II...", so you can easily skip it.
But I want this to keep for myself, so I can come back and tell Bro, Ingo, or whomever or to remind myself: Look, that´s how others see us!
Or, look, did you actually know this about "us".
It´s my blog after all, no?

And... I learn new stuff this way, too. Or am astonished about what others know about us.
I´m German, I accepted this ;-)

Ingo Goes Huuuiiiiii

...or Merry Christmas

Do you know this episode of the Simpsons?



Well. Let me shortly picture it for you:
I have to do 5 special excercises every day to prevent my ankle from hurting. Legs have the same length, but my hip isn´t straight (no, I don´t roam around like Quasimodo - it´s just a tad, but enough to make it hurt).

Usually it´s the last thing I do in the morning before heading off to work.
On holidays? No routine!
So. I put the mat on the floor to not forget and told Ingo about it, mentioning it´s slippery, don´t step on it.

15 minutes later Ingo gets up, leaves the kitchen and secs later I hear that exact sound, Huuuiiii....!
Go, picture it - I laughed my head off (since I heard no "thump", luckily). We both laughed our heads off, it´s still funny.

Ya know - happened to me before, I stepped on that stupid mat and on the wood I drifted off real fast.
I made a silent "ugh!"

Ingo went "huuuiiiiii", just like Homer.

So funny.

Last Thursday was one of two perfect days in those three weeks of holiday (also due to Ingo finally feeling totally healthy).

First we visited the Botanical Garden.
We used to be there so often when I lived nearby...

Isn´t this just a romantic pic with the bench? Here´s the rest on FB.

After that Ingo suggested we go to the city.
I had on sun protection factor 50. Ingo: none. I thought it was not a good idea, hence.

But it sure was (bought the "Pizza" and bib, see last post. Next day was rainy - I wouldn´t have gone and wouldn´t have had such cool pressies for Niece´s first B-Day).

Well - tis is the season, huh?
Apples and pears are ripe - and right in front our living room window is a tree full of pears.
So... we wanted to buy an "Apple-Picker" (yes. You can use it on pears, too ;-)...)

We´d seen gardening-stuff in a certain shop in town and we went... to find only: This:

On August 18th.

Dunno. Can someone explain to me where the magic of Christmas is for kids these days?
Seems like the stuff comes in earlier every year.

Apple-Picker? We were too late.

Same crazy stuff going on in your place, too?
Am I old-fashioned when I don´t like it that way?

Guess Who´s Playing?

Yep, "Uncle" Ingo :-)

Here is little Niece with her parents:

The new sandpit was a hit!

There was more to explore, a new (very cute) slide:

Grandpa is helping:

This... was not a hit (yet)!
Picking an apple with Daddy is much better...

What is this all about?
Right:

Little Niece turned one today!
It was too much for her, though... so many people, too many people!

I don´t even know what "I" gave her as presents (bought by her parents) - she didn´t unpack, she was too fussy.

One present I know, though, cause I brought it myself, see it on Ingo, the Baby-Model ;-)

Niece is a Lion by zodiac sign, we´re from Baunschweig aka Lion-City and hence this bib shows a lion at mealtime saying "predator-feeding" :-)

I wanted to bring her Mum some flowers - but my Mum had the same idea.
So I ended up bringing:

A "Pizza" - from gummy bear-land :-)

This sure was a hit - SIL looked at me like "are you kidding?!!! A Pizza?!"
But then loved it. For the idea, not the calories...

Certainly this made me longing for a:

Pizza Da Nico!

My Mum brought a Ten Without Ham and some greetings from Da Nico - they said, "oh, that´s for Braunschweig, huh?" Guess it´s not a Ten anymore even, but they know me :-)

Driving there was a pain, though (thanks, Ingo for doing that for me!) - a looong construction site.

8.5 km to go (for us, the site is much longer):

Then 6:

Now "only" 2:

A nice idea to make it a bit less bad...

Tomorrow it´s back to work. This "holiday" is over.
I love my job, but... awww.... it´ll be dark now in the morning. No more sleeping in, up at 04:50 it is.

Call Me Uncle Tootles

Luckily I have been told about some really stupid ad-campaign.

A Friend was asked at the check-out at a certain grocery-chain: "You want a marble?"
He was like: "????" and was handed... a marble.

And he told me about this, luckily.

Since we moved, we don´t go there actually anymore.
Now, being on holidays, we did.

And bought stuff for over 20 Euros.
And I was asked... well.

Polite as I am (! Ye-hes! ;-)...) I´d agreed and assumed it´s a large, round chewimg gum, as from the old days, and probably tried to take a biiiig chew, breaking my teeth (I don´t read what´s on the cover, esp. if it looks like a paper wrapped around a chewing-gum- bowl, you know these, too?).

Boy, oh-boy. They´re certainly on FB here, so far I got two, they´re both blue.

When my friend first told me, I immediateldly thought of Hook, or, as you call it, The Lost Boys - and poor ole Tootles.

Loved to watch the movie, saw it first time with Spouse in Hildesheim in the very first "WG", Wohngemeinschaft, Roommate-stuff I/we (on every second weekend) were in...

Dear Tootles... Hope you got your marbles.
No. I know it! :-)

Off-topic: Bought the book to the movie at Second Hand-Shop "Dusty Jackets" in Darwin. One more memory to make "Hook" a great story.

To be frank... 1999 was the best year of my life (so far?), thanks to Ingo, thanks to my parents, who made it all possible.

We went to Perth, had the money and time to buy our dream-car and with this Nissan Patrol LWB we had the best times ever.
Heck.
Can you imagine how big you feel when being a "woman" with only 1,64m but driving a car like that?!

Me... after we sold him. Was like selling your house - your home. He was car, on rainy days the place where you eat, play cards in the evening and sleep. And a shield when taking a (solar-)shower.

To Europeans these cars are huge, they mean... freedom :-)

May I Ask?

Despite this more than crap summer... this holiday was needed and I guess I´m refreshed a bit.
Having a hero as "husband" may help, too ;-)

I was taking out garbage and compost this evening when a woman stopped.
She lives in this house, too, I learned.

"Excuse me... do you live in the second apartment to the right? (yes) ...may I ask how old you are?", she was quite directly asking, telling me the preowner´s wife said a "quite young woman" will move in.
(Which is nonesense. We all gave our full names and birth-dates in the very first contract. But, well. She is not the brightest anyways...)

The question nearly kinda hurt. But, well. If you wanna live long, you gotta get old, right?
So. I said: "Thirty-Nine..."

She looked kinda astonished, smiled and said, "you could pass as Twenty!"
Ahhh.... owwww... that made my day, huh?!

In the pic on top I´m aged 23, btw. Oh, boy, yes. I know. Do we look silly, hero and I, huh? (Broome, WA in 1995)
Oh, yips, back to that... the Woman... in her mid-60´s maybe, said, "did you know your Husband saved my life?"
(I stopped telling people we´re not married, it´s useless over here)

I know why I abandon(ed) my poor bike outside at a tree - the stairs to the basement are steep and with my dumb right arm... I need help.
This woman has a bike much heavier than mine and trying to get it down none-the-less.
It was a (or "the" (haha, just kidding, summer ain´t that bad)) hot day and she wasn´t feeling that good.
The moment she lost balance Ingo happened to open the door to the basement, grabbed her with one hand, the bike with the other and saved her from falling down the steep stairs - don´t you think he ever mentioned this to me?
She now leaves her bike somewhere else, she left her groceries beside the door and pedalled away...

Oh. And she asked if I like the house, if I like living here?

Why, yes!
We agreed it´s a very nice place.

Oh-so-often you find bags with groceries in the hall, no one being around.
Last week some suitcase was parked half the stairs up. And no. No one panicked, this was no bomb, just luggage from a holiday and as soon as the guys felt like it, they took it home, after a few days.

Somehow people trust each other in here.
Oh! And "Alexander" from second floor will move out, she told me.

Yes. That "kid" that start´s playing basketball at 10:30 p.m over where my PC is, and hence I, with me getting up at 04:55 a.m.
Yay!

Are They Loved?

If you look at my Niece´s unhappy face: No.
Teeth.

We both have our issues with them atm.

She´s growing back teeth and I... that darn root canal treatment still isn´t over, another app with the doc tomorrow at 9:00 am - yeah, a great way to spend your holidays - daily visits at the dentist...

But, well. In a "summer" like this, this ain´t too bad, huh?!

I´m really, really sick of this weather!

We´re doing great, though, Niece and I, esp she does.
Near to no crying.

Even when her Daddy went away and she stayed with only me and my Mum.
Last one is kinda killing me lately with her attitude.
All.Negative, I won´t say more.

We went to her maybe-someday-or-maybe-rather-not-to-be-home so Ingo could take care of all the electrical stuff. And with this... I´m kinda out of it. Maybe not, though.
Ack - I become more and more like my Father. I have less and less patience with every day.

Niece did fine. Was a little sleepy-head who did not complain when I "shoved" her from left to right and back... she´s 10 kg already!

Aaaand... she can pull herself up to standing! That fast that I didn´t catch it.

Yeah, that sad look... back to the title, huh?
Teeth. Needed - but not loved!

New things Niece is doing:
Pointing to random stuff or/and things she wants (nearly ate a whole banana at once!) and "giving" things.
Throwing away and loving getting back stuff to throw it away.

Toys? Ah-gack, no.
Grown-up-stuff. Sorting and watching what "they" do with it (electrical!) - Bro aka Daddy takes it easy.

Screwdriver - taking it away from her, smiling into her face, saying, "nah... it grows away nastilily from your eye, Hon."

Knive: "Uhh, no. Tastes a lot like blood, believe me...."

Yeah. She is in good hands there, no? ;-)
The teeth... no - she is loved, for sure, and in an easy-going way.
Would love to have Bro´s patience!

Addendum: Niece hates long ways - she goes from A to B straight. You sit in between? You´re crawled over by her. Too funny! She just doesn´t mind it takes longer - she has her target right in front, remember?!

Speak German IV

The "vexed" Leitkultur is another rather sad chapter in this book.

You could guess I talk about an entirely different book than this one, but no.
Thanks to WWII Germans feel guilty and using the term Leitkultur is rather "dangerous" to use.
The author reveals that ex-chancellor Schröder in 2006 stated that everybody who lives in Germany should know how we greet each other, what our public holidays stand for and not mix up carnival and Christmas. That we need this orientation if we want to live together.
Politician Renate Künast said in 2005 it would be nice if in Germany no Turkish Man would have his wife walking two steps behind him, loaded with two huge bags full of groceries... Well. Still a common sight here. She said you cannot force this. And that we should not use the term Leitkultur.

Well. Living in Germany really should be more than speaking German, no?

Take Holland. They were known for being very tolerant with or towards immigrants and asylum seekers. In 2002 another party took over and things changed. Learning their language is a duty there now.
When an Arab, who spoke their language, commited murder as revenge for a movie on Islamism Theo van Gogh staged, people burnt down mosques, insulted women wearing headscarfs... impossible over here - we have to tolerate.
Great Britain now has a "Britain Day". And Germany? When Germans proudly waved with the German flag in 2006 (FIFA World Cup was hosted here) we were warned that the world might interpret this as nationalism and this would not be a good thing.

Ha, wrong, they do it without even thinking of that little man from Austria.

Speaking of... The "invasion" of anglicism did not start in 1945 - in 1947 Walter Lippman shaped the definition "cold war". Here it became known as "kalter Krieg". When in 1948 the United States helped people in West Berlin via "Airlift" Germans called it "Luftbrücke". In the 50´s the concept of "Self-Service"-Shops came to Germany - people called it "Selbstbedienung".

The foundation for the German language started to give 3 words per month you could use. Sadly they stopped in 2006.

Why do you have to say "Body Guard", call it Leibwächter. "Brainstorming" - Denkrunde. "Call Center" - Rufdienst... there are alternatives.
"Fast Food".... they state it´s already half German with "fast" being German for nearly it describes that kind of food pretty well, no? You can nearly eat/enjoy it ;-)

German Lufthansa years ago was asked by the author why their motto is "There´s no better way to fly." Why a German company talks to their German customers in English? And that "Keiner fliegt Sie besser." is shorter, too?
Guess what - certainly this was ignored, they still have that stupid slogan...

Maybe we should follow the French?
In 1994 the sectrtary for culture, Jaques Toubon, was able to pass this law: 3500 common "imported" English words were forbitten in advertisement, in instruction manuals and for journalists in radio and TV and in departments.
And Lufthansa? They had to change their slogan into "Il n´y a pas plus belle façon de s´envoler." Why keep it English for Germans? (Not that I had the money to fly with Lufthansa anyways....).

And did you know? Germany is the only German-speaking Country that does not regulate the language by Basic Law - even though it is even named after it´s language. At least that was the case in 2006 - no idea if they changed it.
Austria and Liechtenstein have German as only official language.
Switzerland, Belgium and Luxemburg as one at least.

The campaign to make people drive sober was called: "Don´t drug and drive." And school-kids who are supposed to learn how to handle money... this subject was called "Money and Kids" - hello?!
Children speak "bad" German. At home the TV is often running non-stop, also at meals. TV wins over books - allegedly 1/3 of 17-year-old girls in Germany have never read a book, with boys it´d be 2/3 (hard to believe!).

German is taught only 3-4 hours per week, that makes 16% - France and China teach their kids their language some more... 26%.
The book ends demanding schools teaching more German, hoping it´ll stay a living language.
Let´s see.

Was an interesting read.