English For Runaways

Gosh. Ingo sits in his room and laughs like a madman.

The neighbours might think we are mad - I had to laugh as well at some - even if one of these happened to me myself back in 1999!

Let´s see if you think it´s funny, too, or if just a German can laugh about this. If so, just skip this post and see it as my diary :-)

Comedian Otto Waalkes had it in his program "English for runaways".
He revealed how Germans use the English language in a funny, German way. The German word for advanced is "Fortgeschritten" - fort = away, schreiten - actually walk, or run, "runaways" for advanced.

In a funny way like I did! Boy, in the aftermath that sure was embarrassing!
In 1999 I had no cell phone yet, actually I got my first one 2002, when I found a job. For our journey throughout Australia we bought one, also cause I applied for jobs.

Germans say "handy" for cellphone. You can guess... on "I leave you a handy-number" I got a blank look.

And there are many traps you can fall into, too!

We get "Noten" at school. A note, though, is just a, well, note. The correct word is mark or grade.
You have to know that, don´t assume! I knew that, btw.

The Oscars I don´t care much about but I always hear VIP, "Vee Eye Pee", if other speak about who´s there. Some obviously pronounce in German and ask about the "wipps", which sounds like "whips". So... what do you think about whips?

If you do not know you might ask the dotor for a receipe. The German word for prescription is "Rezept" - I kid you not.

As we say "Chef" for boss - confusion is program here, no?

The manager or businessman in German is an "Unternehmer", undertaker. Weee, here we go, huh?
See pic above. This blogger is an undertaker, Bestatter, and he helped me heaps to get through the process with my Mum. He explains the facts and mixes it all with funny stories in his blog. Cause.... life goes on and some funny situations take place even then.

Guess 2006 many shook their heads about Germans saying they had so much fun at public viewing.
Someone invented it for watching soccer together in the city, not knowing it´s taken already for something very unfunny.
I think the word fremdschämen was created that very moment, too....

I also had to laugh on this: At times we, even after puberty, get pimples, right.
The German word is Pickel - do I have to say more? :-)
"I have a pickle in my face" - oh, poor you :-)

Some Germans don´t ask for something but say they get it. Like "I get a beer." To get, German "bekommen" hence results in "I become a beer". Jesus and his wine? ;-)

Some things I´d really never ever came up with but if you go word by word the wish for getting coins .. oh, wait. You do not need coins for your trolleys. But reckon for something you need coins and you only have 5AUD-note.
Word by word translated a German´d ask you "can you change me?" - bummer, huh??? :-)

Some really obviously just blab out without thinking.
Pony is an English word, it´s a small horse, kinda.
Some seem to go to the hairdresser and ask for a pony. Cause that´s the German word for "fringe".

And please don´t think a German is filthy or poor when he tells you he´s a tramp. That is the German word for hitch-hiking :-)

And a pressie... We say "Gift" for poison. Might explain some blank looks if you ever asked an unknowing German for one, huh?

Source.

Are there similar problems with Afrikaans and English? I could probably guess so?