(Pic: The crazy 70´s!)
Drinking cup for my Dad, like for a big kid, in my hand.
Big safety gate was down, lights in the workplace off, ambulance standing there, with lights off, too, and I knew.
I was calm.
So calm.
Unlike today.
I went back to the pharmacy before going to the place.
Cancelled lemon sticks for Dad, who wasn´t allowed to drink anything yet, ordered some meds to soothe my Brother and Mother.
Went past the ambulance, rang the bell.
Brother opened the door and fell onto me in tears.
I managed even that (weight).
Dad was gone, cancer won.
Miss you.
18 years. You never met your DIL, never met shy Grankid #1 or LOUD #2.
The lights went off the moment you got home, that´s all you wanted. Being home.
I hope you´re "home".
I wasn´t your plan but you created 4 people, so to say.
They all look like you when you were little.
I don´t have a "daily" blog. My heart hurts so much I have one more post later today. Feel free to skip it.
He was a "good man", my Dad, working all his life, paying in money. Leaving before being able to enjoy retirement...
20 comments:
I don't miss my dad, we were apart so much of my life once I left to find work. At least he did get to see all his grandchildren several times, but he died alone in a hospital in Port Augusta while I was living and working in Adelaide.
My brother was on his way to see him and I had to break the news that dad died just about the time brother was getting off the plane in Adelaide.
My Dad and I weren´t close later, either, that´s why I wonder why it still hurts so much.
Dying alone must be horrible. But what do we know, huh?
Port Augusta. We had a car repair there, if I remember right. In 1995!
I am sorry, your Brother ... mine was there, neither could help.
Shit#y times.
...life is filled with misses, but more importantly with memories to remember.
Yes, that is the problem, I cannot forget...
I still miss my grandparents who raised me from birth. It's been years, but the pain comes every now and then. From a memory, from something someone says or someone writes on their blog. The pain has definitely lessened over the years and now I mostly see the joy and happiness we shared during the time they were alive. I wouldn't trade that or those memories for anything in the world. Sounds like you still miss your dad, too.
Elizabeth, I do. You are right. I should remember the good times, but on this day the bad views come back...
He was a good man and so... I'm sure he is home!
I hope so. Very much.
Poignant. Dads were always so busy making a living for a family that they hardly spent any time with. I think it is different now.
I'm sure you feel the sadness of losing your Dad who was still young, and didn't even get to enjoy his retirement and see his grandkids.
A big hug Iris xxx
magiceye, my Brother is different indeed :-) his kids are #1!
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Sami, thank you, yes. Hugs and glad you have a different story xxx
What a shock for you to come home to Iris. We are a really close family, my sisters and I were with mum and dad when they passed away, I miss them still so much, without them I wouldn't be here 💜💙
Well, Grace, I was warned. But I thought he might have a couple of days at least.
But he was home.
Sadly I could not say good-bye, but what a difference does it make. I was there the last two weeks.
This is a powerful post, Iris. Your words tell your story so honestly and so poignantly. I think he knew you said goodbye, even if it wasn't at that moment. Loss doesn't heal in a day, week, or decade or more. It just gets easier day to day and then at special times pops up again, anew. Be with it. We grieve because we loved and love doesn't go away either. Big far away hugs.
My dad died 16 years ago October 1. I still miss him. And certain things make me think about him. So I get everything you are saying Iris. And I understand your sadness. He would want you to be happy today. (Or so I think because what do I really know since I didn't know your dad). Love is strong though. Big hugs to you-Erika
Jeanie, thank you. So many memories of the weeks before this. I just assumed the grieving stops being so hurtful at one point. Big hugs back...
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Erika, I agree, he would want me to be happy. Sad we have two dates now, always. Big hugs over to you, also, hope you can smile a bit more for yours on October 1st.
I am sorry for your loss. My dad died in 1997 of cancer.
I am sorry for yours, too. And we still have no cure...
It's sad to lose a parent but at least you have memories and photos to remind you. My dad died in 1973 of cancer and my mom passed away in 2014. She was 23 yrs younger than dad. I miss them but hope they are together again. Who knows.
Oh, Bill, 23 years is a lot and all those years without your Dad must´ve been horrible especially for your Mom...
And you.
Yes, let´s hope there is either nothing or you are together again...
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